Sawyer lets out a long breath, carefully choosing his words. “You’ve got time, Clint. Just be there for him. Be real with him. That’s all you can do.”
I look at him as it sinks in. He’s right, of course. But it’s not that easy. I’ve never had to be anyone’s father before.
But Charlie… He’s already got me wrapped around his finger without even trying. Hell, just the thought of him calling me Dad makes something inside me shift.
I look at Sawyer again, the words getting harder to say. “What if I screw this up?”
Sawyer shrugs, a slow, easy move. He’s seen me wrestle with a hundred things and knows this won’t be the last one. “What if you don’t?”
I run my hand through my hair, my mind a tangled mess. I can’t stop thinking about all the things I don’t know. The things I should’ve known already.
I open my mouth to respond, but the words get stuck. I can’t just flip a switch and suddenly be the father Charlie deserves. This isn’t something you learn in a few days or a few weeks. It’s a lifetime.
And I’m not prepared for it.
“Clint, man,” Sawyer cuts through my spiraling thoughts. “You’ve been better with Charlie than you give yourself credit for. You’re already doing the hardest part. You’re here. You care.”
I shake my head, still not convinced. “I don’t know if that’s enough. I don’t know how to make up for the time I’ve missed.”
Sawyer looks at me, his eyes soft but serious. “You can’t change the past. But you’ve got the future ahead of you. And Charlie? He’s got you now. That’s what matters. You’re here. Don’t let your fear of messing up stop you from doing whatneeds to be done. If you need to screw up a few times to figure it out, so be it.”
I let out a long breath, a mixture of frustration and relief. Sawyer’s right. I can’t keep holding myself to some impossible standard. The kid doesn’t need a perfect father. He needs me to show up. To be present. To be real.
I turn toward the barn, trying to sort through the mess of thoughts in my head. “Maybe I need to get out of here for a bit.”
“I’ll come with you,” Sawyer offers. “If you want, I’ll call Reid, too. We can grab a drink and talk this through. Maybe get your mind off things for a little while.”
I give him a look, unsure. “I’m not exactly in the mood for a heart-to-heart over whiskey.”
Sawyer shrugs, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Doesn’t have to be a heart-to-heart. But a drink with friends? It might help you clear your head.”
I pause, weighing it. Maybe it’s exactly what I need. To get away from the ranch for a little while, to talk about something other than the storm that’s been brewing inside me.
I finally nod. “Alright, call him. I could use a distraction.”
Sawyer pulls out his phone and dials quickly. “Reid’s always down for a drink.”
A few seconds later, Reid’s voice comes through. “Sawyer? What’s up?”
“Clint’s got some… rough news,” Sawyer says. “We’re headed to the Silver Bit. You in?”
Reid’s laugh is light but genuine. “Always, man. Let’s go.”
“See? I told you,” Sawyer says with a grin, putting his phone back in his pocket. “We’ll sort you out.”
As we drive toward the tavern, I can feel the day pressing down on me harder than I want to admit. Everything is happening too fast.
Charlie. Being a father. The truth that’s been sitting there for years, hidden in plain sight.
I should’ve known, damn it. I should’ve figured it out earlier.
The night is cool, and the soft hum of crickets fills the air as we make our way to the Silver Bit.
“Clint, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Reid asks after a while.
“Let’s get a drink first. Then I’ll tell you everything, and we’ll see if the advice you give me is anything like Sawyer’s.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
