Nic frowned at Tamsin.“You know that’s not what I was saying.”
“I do, but it’s whatI’msaying.”Tamsin reached for Nic’s hand and linked their fingers together.Nic stared at them, his breath caught in his lungs.
They were mates.This man was the man Nic was supposed to spend the rest of his life with.He was supposed to be the man who knew Nic best in the entire world, who understood him and would be there for him.Nic was pretty sure that Fate had messed up, but in a way, he was glad for it.
He really shouldn’t be.
He shook his head and untangled their fingers.“The best thing for you would be to go back to your life and try to ignore the fact that you’ve met your mate.You haven’t told anyone, have you?”
“Not yet,” Tamsin said.“But I will.”
“You shouldn’t.If your clan leaders are planning on executing me, let them.It’s what I deserve.You, on the other hand, deserve someone much better than me.Hopefully, when I die, Fate will give you another mate.I’ve heard of that happening a few times.”Nic hadn’t thought he’d find one mate, let alone more than one.He’d be glad to be sacrificed if it meant that Tamsin could have someone else, though.Nic couldn’t be what Tamsin should have, but someone else could—and would.
Nic had ruined his life before it had even started.He hated himself for that, but at the same time, he knew he hadn’t had a choice.Still, he had to deal with the consequences of his actions now.He might lose his mate and his life.He probably would as soon as the clan leaders got what they wanted out of him.Whatever it was, he’d help them.
It was the least he could do.
* * * *
TAMSIN DESPERATELYwanted to help more, but he didn’t know what Nic would allow him to do.Tamsin wanted to hug him, promise him that everything would be all right, but how could he?It wasn’t like Nic would believe him.Tamsin wasn’t surehebelieved that, even though he had to.
He couldn’t think of the possibility that Rowan and Clay wouldn’t want Nic to stay.He didn’t think they would execute him like Nic expected them to, but that didn’t mean they’d welcome him into the clan.They had with Melissa, but her situation was different.The fact that she was a Kudlak didn’t matter because she’d never fought against them.She’d never threatened their clan.She’d always been on their side ever since they’d met her, but the same couldn’t be said for Nic.
That didn’t mean that Tamsin was giving up.He truly believed that them being mates meant things would be easier for Nic.That didn’t mean things would be easy, but Tamsin was hopeful.
Nic wasn’t.
“Why don’t you go take a shower?”Tamsin suggested.“I’ll change your sheets in the meantime.”Nic had obviously been having a nightmare when Tamsin had come in.Tamsin had wanted to help, but he didn’t know how.He wasn’t even sure he could.He couldn’t blame Nic for keeping him at arm’s length, but it hurt.They were mates, and they were supposed to support each other.
The problem was that Tamsin didn’t know how to support Nic.
The first step would be to get him out of this room.Where would Nic go once he did, though?Would he decide to stay with the clan?Would he be allowed to?What would people think of him?It wouldn’t be easy, at least initially.Tamsin was pretty sure that the only people who wanted Nic to stick around was him and Devon, and maybe Ryan, but that would be only for Devon.Nic wouldn’t have an easy life here if he decided to stay, but Tamsin hoped that he would anyway.He didn’t want to have to leave, not when he’d spent so much time searching for a new home.He finally had it.Was it too much to ask to have both the clan and his mate?
“You don’t have to do that,” Nic said, staying in bed.“I’ll clean everything up.You should go.”
Tamsin sighed.“What if I don’t want to go?”
“You still should.I don’t think you want people to know you’ve been spending too much time in here.”
“They’ll understand why soon as they find out we’re mates, anyway.”
“They shouldn’t find out.People are going to treat you badly when they realize you have that kind of bond to me.I don’t want you to lose this place or your friends.”
It broke Tamsin’s heart, even though he knew that Nic was right.He might lose some people once they found out who his mate was.It wasn’t a hard decision to make, though.If people truly cared about him, they’d stand with him, no matter who he was with.They’d understand that he didn’t have a choice, that Fate had decided who he was supposed to be with.Sure, he could walk away from Nic, but why should he?There was a reason Fate had decided they should be together.He didn’t know what that reason was, but he knew he’d find out once they started spending time together.He’d fall in love with Nic, and he’d know.
Tamsin got to his feet and looked down at Nic.He was still pale and clearly shaky, and Tamsin’s heart ached for him.He barely knew anything about this man, but he could tell he’d been in pain for a long time.Tamsin understood that.He’d lost his people.It had been decades, but some days the loss was still fresh, and he woke up with their names on his lips.He didn’t know if that was what had happened to Nic today, and he wouldn’t push for answers, but he wanted Nic to know that he was there for him.He always would be.
“Go shower,” he repeated.“I’ll clean up.I won’t take no for an answer, and I know you don’t know me, but I can be stubborn when I want to.”
Nic watched him for a moment longer.Tamsin expected him to push him away again, so he was surprised when instead, Nic nodded and started to get out of bed.
Nic didn’t say anything.He walked past Tamsin, closing the bathroom door behind him.Tamsin held his breath for a moment, listening until he heard the sound of the shower coming on.
He exhaled and relaxed his shoulders.It would take a lot of work for him and Nic to find common ground.He was willing to do that work, but he couldn’t do it on his own.He hoped that Nic was opposed to them being mates because he thought their situation was hopeless and not because he didn’t want Tamsin.Tamsin was sure they’d find a way out of this, but that wouldn’t happen if Nic didn’t want him.
He told himself not to catastrophize and got to work.He opened the window wide, shivering a little at the coolness of the air, and took off the sheets from the bed.He dumped them in the hallway before grabbing fresh ones and putting them down.He fluffed the pillows, moved a few things around on the tray, and was out of things to do by the time Nic left the bathroom.
Wearing only a towel.
