Unfortunately, Liam has chosen another path. Another mate. My bond to Liam is now just a wound that will never heal. I’m tethered emotionally to a man who doesn’t want me. There’s no relief for me either because the bond doesn’t disintegrate simply because Liam puts a ring on Kara’s finger. My wolf can’tjust move on because the situation is hopeless. It’ll just wait, loyal and stubborn, aching for someone who’ll never be mine.
My thoughts drift to Ben. Sweet, self-assured Ben who texts me good morning every day and tells me I’m worth waiting for. Ben who holds my hand in public without flinching. Ben who wants me openly and without shame. I care about him. I do. When I’m with him, I feel wanted. Chosen. Safe. He’s offering me everything I’ve ever craved. If I’m his, I’ll be invited into the pack. I’ll have a mate and a pack. I’ll belong in a way I never have before.
But I won’t have Liam.
And as perfect as Ben is, he’s not enough. I’ve tried to pretend he’s enough. I’ve tried to convince my heart that what Ben offers is better than what Liam could ever give me. Ben is available. Ben is certain. Ben doesn’t kiss me and then call it a mistake. Ben doesn’t look at me with hunger one moment and horror the next.
The problem is, if Liam would just wake up, what we’d have together would eclipse anything I could ever have with Ben. Just that one kiss we shared overshadows the many kisses I’ve had with Ben. Liam’s scent and taste are carved into my soul. There’s no erasing him. I wish there were a way, if I’m honest, but there isn’t.
The booze helps dull the pain slightly, so I drink almost the entire bottle. Then I decide I need to shift. My human form is more emotional and that’s the last thing I need right now. My wolf doesn’t care about rings or proposals. Desperate, I stumble to the back of the house, seeking relief.
Cold air rushes at me when I step out onto the back porch. The shock of it steals the breath from my lungs. Snow crunches beneath my boots as I walk into the yard, the night pressingclose around me. The mountains smell sharp and clean. Pine sap. Frost. Distant woodsmoke from someone’s chimney.
I strip off my shirt, tossing it onto the porch rail. My fingers feel clumsy as I unbutton my jeans, the whiskey making my head swim slightly. I slip out of my pants and underwear, toeing off my boots last. The cold bites instantly at my skin, raising goosebumps along my arms and legs. For a moment I just stand there in the dark, naked, the wind whispering through the trees.
I close my eyes and give myself over to my wolf.
The shift starts low in my spine, vertebrae popping one by one, a familiar ripple of pressure that spreads through my body. My muscles tighten, bones grinding softly as they begin to reshape. Pain lances through my shoulders as they broaden, tendons stretching. My breath leaves me in a harsh grunt as my ribs compress, my center of gravity dropping.
The world tilts and I brace my hands against the frozen ground as the transformation gathers speed. My fingers shorten, nails thickening and curving. The joints pop one after another, a rapid series of cracks that echo faintly in the night. My skin prickles as hairs spreads, dark and dense. My fur lifts against the wind, thick enough now that the cold no longer bites.
My jaw aches as it pushes forward, teeth sharpening inside my mouth. The last of my human thoughts scatter like startled birds when my senses ignite. The quiet night splits apart into layers. Wind whispering through needles. A mouse scurrying on a snow-covered branch somewhere high above me. The frantic hammer of my own pulse.
The human grief is still inside me, but muffled now, dulled beneath the steady animal certainty of my wolf. He doesn’t question what we’ve lost. He only knows we were hurt, and that we need to run.
I lunge forward, sprinting across the yard. My body stretches and my lungs fill with cold air so pure it burns. My paws hit the ground in a pounding rhythm. By the time I reach the tree line, I’m flying.
Branches blur past. The snow under the pines is softer, deeper, swallowing sound. My body knows exactly how to move through it, weaving between trunks, leaping fallen logs hidden under drifts, adjusting to slope and rock without hesitation. The whiskey is gone from me now, burned off by the shift and the intensity of the run.
The wind rushes over my muzzle. Frost clings to my whiskers. My muscles coil and release, coil and release. A rabbit has passed recently on the trail I’m on, leaving a faint thread of warm musk across the frozen ground.
I crest a ridge and stop, panting. Below me, the valley stretches out, colored pewter in the moonlight. I don’t want to think of Liam, but thoughts of him still come. I remember my runs with Liam. The hungry kiss we shared. I hoped for just a small moment that maybe,maybehe’d be mine. But he chose a different mate, and my heart feels shredded.
I lift my muzzle and howl.
The sound that rips out of me is raw and aching, breaking across the night and rolling into the mountains. It comes back to me in fragments, thinner, lonelier. There’s a pathetic pitch to it. I howl again anyway, needing to vent my frustrations. Only the hoot of an owl somewhere in the trees answers my pitiful wail.
I drop my head and keep running.
Chapter Sixteen
Liam
When Kara offered to cook dinner at her place, that was a godsend. It’s best that this difficult conversation take place in private. My plan is to ease into the evening and maybe after dinner tell her we need to talk. But when she opens the door, wearing a tight red dress and smiling seductively, I know I can’t keep up the charade one minute longer.
She must see something in my face because her smile immediately dies and she wrinkles her brow. “What’s wrong? Are you still sick?”
“No,” I rasp. “I’m not sick.”
Although I feel like throwing up.
She steps aside, closing the door behind me. I turn to face her, not sure where to begin. I’ve broken up with plenty of women, but Kara is the only one I dated for this long. Plus, I care about her. I’m not in love with her, not like I thought I was, but I also don’t want to hurt her. But she will be hurt, there’s no way around that. By being too afraid to see the truth, I’ve selfishly strung her along. And it doesn’t matter that I didn’t mean to, I still did it.
“What’s wrong, Liam? Why do you look so serious?”
I wince. “We… we need to talk.” My voice sounds hollow and she immediately tenses.
“Oh, God.” She takes a step back, looking stricken. She turns and heads to the couch where she sits as if her legs have given out. “What is it?”
