Chapter Forty-Eight
Friday, April 13th
Eleanor awakened to Birdie’s cry. She slipped out of bed and scooped her up. After a diaper change, she grabbed the baby monitor, and, in an attempt to be extra quiet, she made her way down the stairs to make a bottle. As she hit the second floor, she heard a plaintive cry. She recognized Troy’s voice.
Kip came flying out his room, looking lost.
“Kip, would you get a bottle for Birdie? There is one in the bottle warmer on the counter by the toaster, and also please listen for Reed.” She placed the baby and the monitor in his hand.
Kip’s eyes shifted to Troy’s door. He opened his arms and took the baby. “Thanks, Ellie.”
She knocked on Troy’s door. “It’s Ellie; I’m coming in.”
Troy was standing at the window, his t-shirt clinging to him, wet with sweat. She sat in the large club chair. “I’m here for you. Do you need something? Would you like to tell me about it?” she asked and waited.
Troy faced her, his eyes hollow. “It’s always the same.” He walked over and sat on the corner of his bed. “I am dragged from my cell to a room on the basement level. They were using it to shoot violent pornography. There’s a chain hanging from the ceiling. They push me forward and cuff me to the chains. Jensen shoves two blue pills down my throat. The first flashlight hits my gut. And again, and again. My jaw, my ribs, my knees, my gut.” He shook his head. His breaths were increasing in rate.
“Troy, it’s a memory. You’re safe. Where are you?” Eleanor’s voice was soft.
“Wes’s house.” He looked around.
“Good, can you keep going?” She concentrated on keeping her reaction level. Inside, she began to feel the threads holding her together unravel. Mentally, she started an internal dialog reminding herself she could break down anywhere else but here with Troy.
“Jensen and McCallister rip off my jumpsuit. Boyd runs his hand up and down my body. He grabs my dick and…”
“Troy, where are you?” Eleanor prompted. She’d read his treatment notes. Aaron Bain and Brandon Finch both felt, given the right circumstances, he’d make it through the nightmare.
“Wes’s house.” He closed his eyes and kept going. “Boyd tells me how much he wanted me. And…and he raped me.” Troy began to shake.
“Troy, it’s a memory. They can’t hurt you again.” She dug her nails into her thighs.
Troy managed to go through every agonizing minute. Every assault.
As she listened, she realized the attack went on for hours. Her skin erupted in goosebumps. Her brain tried to figure out what to do when he made his way through this one. “Jenner comes in. I try to fight him off, and I feel the crack against my back. My legs go numb. Another crack to my ribs. I can’t breathe. My chest aches. Jenner keeps taunting me.
“To have total control…it aroused him. I refused to say what he wanted. I refused to give in to his control. I’d let him kill me first.”
Eleanor managed to squelch her gasp.
“He used my body against me. I…I came at his hand inside me. And then he took his time raping me. When I refused to react…the flashlight…he ripped me apart. The alarm went off. They threw me on the ground and redressed me. Jenner kicked me in the face. And then stomped my chest. I…I couldn’t breathe. I was destroyed. Then I was on a stretcher.” Troy opened his eyes and burst into tears.
Eleanor got up and grabbed a box of tissues from the dresser. Her own heart beat out of her throat. She sat beside him and cried with him as she offered him the box. He ignored it.
She carefully placed one hand on his, assuring she could step away if he reacted violently. “Troy, you’re safe. That was so brave. It’s a memory. You were not destroyed. You are a man. You are here. You survived. You are not alone—and you are loved.”
Troy reached for her and hugged her. After letting go, he reached for the tissues. “I…I…”
“Breathe, nice and easy,” Eleanor coached.
“What happens now?” Troy sniffed.
Eleanor knew he’d opened Pandora’s box. From a discussion with Kyle while Wes was in the hospital, she knew the duration of the mission. There were more memories. She forced an encouraging smile. “The hard work. You are going to learn to talk through all the memories and control them, change them. And you are going to work on reclaiming every part those evil people tried to take away from you. Those parts are all there. They didn’t have permission to take those pieces, and you held on to them.” Eleanor grasped his hand. “I’d like you to take a shower and go back to bed. That was exhausting.”
“I have to be up by now. I have a job to do,” Troy insisted.
“If you insist, I need you to eat a hearty breakfast, and I’m going to ask Brandon to check in with you. I’m also alerting Kyle that you need the check-in.”
“Ellie, I’ll check in, and thank you.” He hugged her again.
