I can hear Derek moving around in the living room, his footsteps impatient, trying to hurry me along and making me feel as though I am an intruder in what was my home thirty minutes ago.
I catch sight of myself in the mirror, mascara running, face blotchy and red, eyes wild, my stomach popping out against my tight shirt, and I have to look away.
He’s right.
I’m not pretty enough.
Not thin enough.
Simplynot enough.
The bag is barely zipped when I slide on some flats and stumble back into the living room, clutching it against my chest like it’s the only thing tethering me to reality.
Derek doesn’t even look up from his phone. “You got everything?”
“I guess I’ll find out,” I manage, and my voice sounds hollow even to my ears.
“Great. I’ll be in touch about the rest.” He finally looks at me, and there’s nothing in his eyes. No regret. No sadness. No hint of the man who used to tell me I was beautiful. “And Marley? Monday morning, nine sharp. The Campbell meeting is at ten, and I need those revised mockups.”
He wants me at work on Monday.
Like nothing happened.
Like, he didn’t just destroy me.
“Go fuck yourself, Derek.”
It’s the most rebellious thing I’ve ever said to him, and it feels solid and real.
I don’t wait for his response. I simply turn and walk out the door.
The night air hits me like a slap, cold and sharp. I’m standing on the porch,his porch now,and I don’t know where to go. My parents live forty minutes away. My eldest brother, Callum, has two kids and a wife who would ask too many questions. My other, and more fun, brother, Beck, is in LA for a photo shoot. Then it pops into my head…
Sage.
I need my best friend, Sage.
My fingers fumble with my phone, pulling up the Uber app. I type in Sage’s address. I can barely see the screen through my tears, but I manage the ride request.
The acceptance comes immediately.
A black Honda.
Four minutes away.
Letting out a relieved breath, I send Sage a text.
Me:Coming over now. Prepare the wine. And Cheese. And sappy movies!
Her response is instant.
Sage Against the Machine:What happened??? Who do I have to kill? I have my forks ready and the corkscrew on standby!
My tense shoulders relax just slightly at the sight of my crazy, chaotic best friend living up to the nickname I saved her as in my phone. The thing about Sage is, no matter the situation, no matter the cost, if I need her, she will be there, and shewillbe raging about whatever the problem is, even if I’m not.
Hence, my pun on ‘Rage Against the Machine’ with her name.
Me:Thanks, babe… but why forks?
