“I only wonder where on earth you buy the matching shoes, because you have big…feet…but they always seem to fit quite well.You looked very nice in the frock you wore for the…” What was that expression Samuel had used?Ah, yes, he knew listening to Samuel so considerately would come in handy one day, “…prettiest girl in the club contest.You won, of course.”
Ben was silent until the next junction.It was a blessed relief, and Nikolas turned the PM back on.The Russian president had been summoned to Downing Street for a crisis conference.Nikolas chuckled to himself.He couldn’t imagine the president he’d known in other circumstances being summoned anywhere.They’d shared an office building once, until their respective careers had led them on other paths.They’d actually had a brief conversation once in the toilets.
It had been a singularly unpleasant experience for both of them.
“I don’t fucking believe—”
“I have a photograph of you in a dress.It’s yellow.”This was actually true—almost.Ben was about three months old and technically it was a Christening gown, but these things were all semantics.
He got to listen to the whole interview in peace.
* * *
Ben was on even less sure ground when they arrived at the London house.This, he gathered, was Nikolas’s house and had been since before they’d met.He didn’t remember much from his very brief visit at the beginning of the week.Fear, confusion and anger tended to do that.Nikolas had summoned the team once more, and Ben greeted Squeezy with a subdued nod, muttered hello to Tim equally quietly, and decided to make everyone tea.
The team was decidedly depleted.Kate, of course, was absent.Andrea Gillian wasn’t required—she was coming later to examine Ben—and Jackson hadn’t arrived yet.
Ben had just finished making the tea when this last member of ANGEL strode in.Ben hadn’t met this man before.Jackson clearly knew him, but he only gave Ben a small salute, sat at the table and refused tea.He produced a bottle of water and began sipping it, leaning back in his chair, stretched out.
Ben suddenly realised that Nikolas was watching his reaction to Jackson.Ben lowered his gaze, but heard Nikolas rise.He brushed past Ben on the way to the fridge and whispered, “You’re out of luck.He’s not gay.”
There’s rage and then there’s…well, rage.Ben had been about to respond to the infuriating gay implication (still seething about the image of himself in a yellow dress, being leered at—or laughed at, which was worse—by gay men in a sleazy bar somewhere), when Nikolas told him to take Radulf out for a walk—that he needed to discuss things with the others Ben couldn’t hear.
For some reason, the man called Tim rose swiftly from his place and declared he’d go with him—that he wasn’t really any use either for what was going to be discussed.Nikolas didn’t object, so Ben found himself walking alongside Tim Watson to the canal.Tim knew the way…assured Ben they’d gone there together with the dog many, many times.He even knew a good pub and suggested he treat Ben to lunch.
“Don’t take it to heart—how he speaks to you.He’s sort of got into a habit with it because it infuriates you and he likes annoying you.”Clearly this Tim person knew him well enough to read his body language.Interesting.
“Why does he fucking want to annoy me all the time?”
The man shrugged.“I don’t really know, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was his defence mechanism—but for God’s sake don’t tell him I told you that!Jesus.Again, if I had to take a guess, I’d say he’s terrified he won’t get you back.Nikolas doesn’t do fear, so he does aggression instead.He can’t be aggressive with you, so he’s dialled it down to being annoying.”
“Bloody hell.But I’m still here!He can’tloseme!I’m not a sodding dog!”
Tim nodded sadly.“Yes, but the Ben he wants back is the one who knowshim.That’s the thing.The rest of us only know bits and pieces about him—Kate probably knows the most—butyouknow it all—or we assume you do.Who he is.What he—and, honestly, Ican’ttell you any more.”
“So you’ve had the speaking moratorium put on you as well.”
“I don’t know what happened in Lancashire anyway.Michael won’t tell me.He never tells me anything.Well, about what he does, anyway.”
Lancashire?Michael?Anotherbloody ANGEL employee?“Ask Squeezy at an opportune moment—oh, like when you’re fucking maybe?He knows.”
Tim glanced over.“SqueezyisMichael.That’s his name.And do you have a problem with me and Michael?Because you were the one who introduced us.”
Ben wrinkled his nose and didn’t reply.It was infuriating having someone know your life better than you knew it yourself.
Tim seemed willing to let Ben’s implication slide, given his condition, for he immediately asked, “How is it going, anyway?Have you regained some memory?”
“Bits and pieces.Nothing very important.”
“Isn’t that the way for all of us?We can remember a damn song that was playing but not the name of the person we were dancing with.”
“How did we meet?Were you in the army, too?”His doubtful glance made Tim chuckle.
“No, thank God.You were ordered to fuck me to get into a terrorist cell you thought I headed up.Then you were ordered to kill me.”
Ben chuckled.“Good one.”He glanced over at a small gesture from Tim.“What?Fucking hell!”After a moment he added, “That wasn’t when I was in the army.No way would I’ve—?”
“No, after, when you worked for Nikolas.I don’t really know much about what you guys did before ANGEL.I came on board when you got back from the Philippines.You’ll know more about the department’s work than I do.”
