Back from the therapist, therefore, wishing he could go back two weeks and not be roused from a very pleasant sleep, Nikolas waited until Ben had finished making the tea and had placed the four mugs on the table.He gave Squeezy a quick glance and asked neutrally,
“Tell me again what your nephew wrote in his email.”
“Some fucking apology about leaving nothing but darkness behind him—which he fucking has done to his mum.She’ll never get over this.”
Nikolas nodded.“That’s what I would have thought it meant too, and what I believe the police have assumed.So it struck me as odd, therefore, the doctor had a picture on the wall of himself with a group of friends and one of them was wearing a T-shirt that boasted: “Leave The Darkness”.I believe your nephew wasn’t admitting the effect his actions would have on everyone, apologising, as you say, but announcing he was obeying some kind of imperative.”
“Fucking—”
Nikolas laid a hand on Squeezy’s arm.“Sit down.”
“I knew that fucking doctor did something to Jono’s head!Messed him up!The fucker—” He shook Nikolas’s hand off and went out into the tiny courtyard garden, hands in pockets, shoulders hunched.
Tim stood up, watching him.“You should have let him break in and get the files!He’s been right all this time.”
Nikolas glanced over at Ben.“We have created a monster.Where is your professor of ethics, Benjamin?”
Tim ground his teeth in obvious frustration and pointed at Nikolas.“This isn’t funny!I don’t remember you being too concerned about behaving ethically when you thought I was a fucking terrorist!”
For the first time Nikolas understood exactly how Tim felt about Michael—he’d answered back and sworn at him.It was so unthinkable Nikolas was at a loss for words.
Ben hastily intervened.“We don’t need to break in, Tim.Kate will hack the files for us now that we’ve confirmed the doctor’s involvement.”
Tim nodded, looking as if he was on the verge of apologising, but he scrunched up his face instead and went out to Michael.
Ben apologised on his friend’s behalf.“I think he’s in love.”
Nikolas didn’t like talking about people in love, even other people—and especially not men—so he changed the subject swiftly.“I’ll call Kate.”
* * *
After some more tea, which was always needed in a crisis, Ben had been able to calm Squeezy down.Kate would find out what the doctor had written about the sessions with Jono.They just had to be patient.
Ben waited until the other two left, eyeing Nikolas as he peered hopefully into the fridge.He stood, coming closer bit by bit until he was pressed against Nikolas’s backside.He murmured slyly into the back of his neck, “So, afraid you weren’t going to get laid tonight, huh?”
Nikolas turned and smiled smugly.“Not really, no.I was acting.I’ve not had to worry about getting laid—such delightful expressions I learn from you—since I first met you.”
“Is that so?I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.Maybe I’ll punish you for that sulky little boy comment.”He pushed Nikolas back into a chair and very purposefully straddled his strong thighs.He kissed him, easing his tongue in, finding Nikolas’s.Ben groaned with pleasure.“On the other hand, I think you’re forgiven.”
Nikolas slid his hands into the back of Ben’s waistband, cool palms to warm skin, making Ben shiver with repressed desire.“Benjamin Rider-Mikkelsen, did you go to the doctor with no underwear on?”
Ben kissed him again, feeling their arousal swell between them, almost one body, one reaction.“Yes, Nikolas Mikkelsen, I did.I wanted to get into character.”
“Lucky Character.Did he enjoy you?”
“Everyone does.”
“Perhaps I should try you out.See what I’m missing.”
Ben chuckled.“There’s not one spot on my body you’ve missed.But feel free to explore as much as you like.”Nikolas suddenly stood up, Ben still on him.He’d obviously meant to keep him there and carry him but instead doubled over and dumped him unceremoniously on the floor, much to Ben’s amused derision.
“Fucking hell, you’re heavy.”
Ben smirked.“Old man.Come on, I’ll help you up the stairs.Careful!That first step’s the killer.”
* * *
“Why are we as we are, Benjamin?Do you ever wonder?”Nikolas lay with his head on Ben’s belly, his hair being stroked.He twisted around to look at Ben when he got no response.
