As none of us were going, I was quite happy to say that Faelan would be fine on such a journey, which clearly made Aleksey happy. I liked being consulted, even if it was this late in the day and my input didn’t matter anyway.
I felt like something unpleasant to step in, being so false to Aleksey now, and knew I ought to have told him outright of my refusal, but I did not.
I expect total honesty from him but do not often give it in return—as my lie about the Black Crow proves. Now that I was secure again in having Aleksey, I was quite happy to return to gloomy thoughts that I did not deserve him. It was this self-recrimination that then colored what happened when we returned to the cabin.
There was a large group of people on the opposite side of the lake, milling around, showing signs of setting up camp. When we went up to them, instead of saying all that I had intended, instead of seeing them out of our little kingdom, I greeted them hospitably.
I was a little surprised, therefore, by the reception I got from them, given I was making such an uncharacteristic effort to be polite.
They stared at me, mouths open. The young daughter of the colonists particularly was gaping at me, as if I had materialized from the very earth upon which I stood. It was all very… perplexing. I turned my gaze upon my young man, who had the grace to be looking elsewhere—anywhere but at me, in fact. And then I remembered his confession—how he had told them I was his doctor. I had the distinct impression that when he had thus named me, the description had been embellished by… shrunken… yellowed… aged?
My private amusement with Aleksey was apparently mistaken for geniality with the world in general, for my reception was soon more amiable, the officers particularly appearing very glad to make my acquaintance.
I felt Aleksey swell with pride alongside me. I felt his love and his desire for me then as a tangible thing, and I could not deny him one moment of his pleasure.
I agreed that, most assuredly, we were to accompany them and that, naturally, I would lead them to the fort and that, by all means, we would leave on the morrow.
It was all I could do.
I loved Aleksey too much, and on the rebound of thinking I had lost him, there was nothing I could deny him.
Chapter Three
ITHINKI was a little stunned that night. Perhaps I genuinely had been concussed from Xavier’s hoof upon my temple, but I could not make sense of what was happening to me. I was about to leave my comfortable cabin and trek through the forest in the winter (well, it was close enough to that harsh season to make no difference once we reached the falls, which were much higher naturally than our lake) with a group of men to discover an empty fort.
Aleksey was giving me very wary looks as we made ready for bed—me on a temporary pallet on the opposite side of the cabin. This was the first deception that was forced upon us by his enthusiasm to have things different to how they were. I could not, would not, risk one of the group from across the lake coming up to the little log house on the pretext of fetching some food perhaps, or some other spurious reason, and discovering what we really were to each other. This was Aleksey’s kingdom, and our rules had applied here when the only people we saw were transient and passing through our land to other places. Now, however, we had civilization creeping closer every day, and we could not afford to have our situation known in the colony. We would most likely have to move on, and neither of us wanted that, having put so much work into our new home. I think Aleksey was rethinking his rash decision now. He was certainly looking very downcast. When I actually climbed onto the sacking, he exclaimed exasperatedly, “That would not fool anyone but a complete imbecile, Niko. You have hardly spent the last two years sleeping like that on the floor.”
“It would certainly not fool anyone that I was merely your doctor if I was examining your body as closely as I do most nights. You have brought this upon yourself. Get used to it. We will be sleeping apart until we return from this expedition.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. We will find opportunity to be together. We did in the war.”
“No, we did not. Your memory is very faulty if that is how you remember our march to war. I remember it as nothing but frustration and desire, which was thwarted at every opportunity.”
He climbed onto our bed and lay on his belly, head at the foot of the mattress, on folded arms, considering me. After a while, watching me attempting to get comfortable, he commented dryly, “You will be very desirous of me after a few nights of this, will you not?”
“Stop being annoying and tell me about these people I am to suffer for the next few weeks. A family?”
“Yes. I am surprised they wanted to come, given the circumstances.”
“Circumstances?”
“Well, yes, that the colony has all been eaten.”
“Uh-huh. This is your latest theory. Mass cannibalism?”
“It is quite a good theory. It would explain why they are missing. They are… consumed.”
“What about the bones?”
“Ground down to make flour.”
“Uh-huh. And the last man standing—the one who did all the killing and consuming and grinding?”
“Ah, that is the best part of my theory: he ate himself from his feet up.”
“You are not funny. I did not like the way the daughter stared at me, I will tell you that for nothing. I had no thought of ravishing her, as you know, so did not like her looking as if I would.”
“No. I do not like her either.” He chuckled. “And she is not the daughter. She arrived in the colony recently on the last ship we had from England—awidow. She married the Reverend Wright very soon after her arrival—the other three young men are his sons: Jacob, Samuel, and Martin. They are all right. Very quiet. I do not think they are as keen to go and live in the outpost as the reverend—he is to be the new pastor, apparently.”
