My breaths come in doubletime to his.
But they come.Finally.
I breathe.
I breathe, and breathe,and breathe.Hours pass.Or minutes.
My vision is stillblack.
No, my eyes are justclosed.I blink them open.
My vision is blurry, but Ican see.
I'm not sitting on theground.But Sam is.I've been pulled into his lap, my head cradledagainst his chest, his arms holding me, stroking my hair, breathingwith me.Breathing for me.
"Sam."I breathe his name, a prayeron my lips.
Slowly I feel it—the magicof the pill.I sit there, letting him hold me, waiting, breathing.My vision clears, and I see my phone in his hand.He saw themessage.Did he have time to read it?How much time has evenactually passed?
"Fuck, baby, you scaredthe shit out of me," he whispers.
"I'm… okay."I'm not.I'mnot panicking anymore, thanks to Sam and my medication, but I'm indanger.We both are.
"I'm sorry.So sorry," hemurmurs, like he's still recovering from my panicattack.
But he has no reason to besorry.I force another deep breath before I ask."Why?"
Sam seems to startle.Likemaybe he's coming back to the world with me.But he doesn't answer.Instead, he presses his forehead to mine, and I breathe in hisbreath like it's my lifeline.
"Everything is okay.Doyou hear me?Don't pay it any fucking attention, baby girl.Hecan't touch you.He won't touch you."
He's so adamant, but thepassion behind his words doesn't make them true.He can't controlRobin.I'm not sure anyone can.
"He's not going to let mego, Sam.He's going to hurt me.He's going to hurtyou."I whimper again atthe thought, like a pitiful frightened puppy.
"No, baby girl.I swear tofucking God—you're safe.We're safe."He takes a deep breath andwipes the tears, or sweat, or both, from my cheeks.He staresintently into my eyes."You saw the photos yesterday, yeah?Of whathappened the last time he tried to hurt us?"
I saw them, yes.And Iknow Sam won that fight, that he's stronger.But Robin is crazy.Who knowswhathemight do?
"But—"
"I know you're upset, Ror,and I'm sorry.But baby, I need you to trust me.I am going to keepyou safe.I promise you nothing will come of that message, okay?We'll report it to the prosecutor, and they'll revoke his bail.He's not allowed to contact you, remember?This whole hearing justbecame moot.He just violated the restraining orderanyway."
My mouth drops open as Iprocess his words.
Is he right?
Robin's not supposed tocontact me.This is contact.This is a violation of the Injunctionfor Protection.Even if the judge believes he didn't know I'd be inMiami, that he didn't knowingly seek me out,thisis undeniable.
I can't find words.I juststare at Sam, gaping.
He nods at me as ifconfirming what I'm finally starting to grasp.
"Sam."It's the only word I canform.
He brushes my hair from myface before his lips press hard against mine.He does it again, andagain, in chaste, closed-mouthed, hard kisses.
Finally he lifts me up andcarries me from the balcony.
