I'm instantly covered insweat, my tank top sticking to my back, and then all too quicklyblack spots dot my vision, my head dizzy, the world spinning aroundme until my legs are overcome with pins and needles.I feel therail of the balcony behind me and let it guide me to thefloor.
I can't get my bearings.Asteel band tightens around my rib cage, closing in on my lungs, andI just can't enough air.I'm going to pass out.I knowit.
I try with everything Ihave to gasp in another breath.The loud, dramatic wheeze sounds asif it's coming from someone else, somewhere else.I try and try tofucking breathe but I can't stop thinking that he's going to comefor me.I know it.
I will never let yougo.
He's said it before.Butnow he's here, in the same city, and he could be anywhere.He couldbe somewhere in the hotel, just lying in wait.
He's going to kill me.He's going to killSam, I know it!
"Ror?"I can barely seehim with my vision compromised."Oh, fuck,Ror!"
He's at my side, I knowbecause I can feel his hands brushing the sweat soaked hair from myforehead, rubbing at my arm like it could be enough to comfort meright now.
I whimper.
I can't form words, can'twarn him, when it's all I want to do.Terror overtakeseverything.
He's coming!You've got toget away, Sam!
He needs to leave, to befar away from me when he finally comes for me!
If only I couldcommunicate, if I could show him my phone, but I dropped it.Whereexactly, when exactly, I don't know.I don't know!
Then he's slippingsomething in my mouth—a pill,I realize—and holding a water bottle to mylips.
I try to sip, try toswallow, but I can't even intakeair.
Baby, baby,baby.
He's been speaking thiswhole time, I realize, but I've barely heard him.
Swallow for me, pleasebaby.
He's begging.
Pleading.
I want to beg and pleadtoo.Get out of here!
I'm sorry, baby.Please,baby!I'm sorry!
I can't even make outwhich are my thoughts and which are his words.
I focus all of my energy,all of my concentration, and I do it—I swallow the pill, bitter andchalky having spent too much time soaking in the water sitting inmy mouth.
Encouragements.That's it, baby girl.Thank you.Thank you, baby.I'm so sorry, baby.
It feels as if it getsstuck in my chest, further cutting off my windpipe, and somehowalso as if it's grown, like there's a golf ball there instead of alittle bar-shaped pill.
Just breathe for me now,okay?
Loud breaths.Like he'scoaching me.Like a childbirth class I saw in a movieonce.
In and out, in andout.
I listen to his long, deepbreaths.They are calming.I try to mimic them.
