"Cap,now," Tuck urges, and I retract myhand.Sam rolls his eyes and acquiesces.Carl comes out of nowhereand grabs my hand, pulling me in the direction of her car, but myfeet are glued to their spot until I'm satisfied that Sam isleaving with Tuck.He does, glancing back only once to make sureI'm doing the same with Carl, and just like that, the night isover.
Chapter Twelve
Somuch for a drunken night ofdistracting myself from Rory.Of moving on.What a joke.
I stumble into Tuck'sbedroom and press the ice I grabbed from the kitchen onto myswollen knuckles.We don't even bother discussing my hitting thatdouchebag, because neither of us is surprised it happened.Tuckknew our night was fucked the second he laid his fingers on herhair.I think he's probably more surprised at the fact thatIdidn'thit thefucking bartender who'd been staring at Rory's perfect ass allnight than the fact that Ididhit that fucking douchebag who put his hand onher.
Instead we talk about thesame thing we'd been talking about for half the night—Rory'sdrunken outburst.
My plan had been to tryand move on.To try and get over her by hooking up with some randomgirl.But the girls that Marshall found just weren't doing it forme.
They were cute enough, Iguess, but total dogs compared to the last girl I was with—the onestanding less than ten fucking feet away, her proximity onlyhighlighting how lacking they truly were.
But I realized prettyquickly that they weren't the problem, that it was me, so I forcedsome game to go through the motions.
But my heart wasn't init.
Who am I kidding?Myheart's never been in it.Not until Rory.But I knew that beforetonight.
The problem was my dickwasn't in it either.Those girls just weren't doing it for me.AndRory was right fucking there.
But she's in our group offriends, she'smyfriend, so she'll always be around—Iwanther around.So I figured I'dneed to figure out how to move on even while the girl messing up myhead was barely a few feet away.
And then she flipped thefuck out.
I wish I could say that Iwas as pissed off as I acted.But the truth is it washot.
So fucking hot.
Watching her go allpossessive and call that girl a slut.I fucking lovedit.
My dick was definitely init then, just not for the girl I'd been flirting with, but insteadfor the one who'd caused all this damn heartache in the firstplace.
It confused the shit outof me though.
This was what she wanted.So why she was acting all jealous and possessive tonight, I can'tfor the life of me figure out.
"Why now?It makes nosense," I mumble.
Tucker just shrugs,noncommittal.What the fuck is thatsupposed to mean?
I raise my eyebrows athim, which is all I need to do to communicate my internal questionto my closest friend since fucking kindergarten.In all reality,he's the only close friend I'm actuallycloseto.The boys are the boys, butTuckerknowsshit.I've talked to him—as much as I've ever talked aboutanything to do with my private life.Well, before Rory, that is.I've opened up more to her in a few months than anyone else I'veever known.It's pretty crazy when you think about it.But thetruth is, I don't regret it.As pissed off as I get, I know I'monly angry because I still fucking love her, and it kills me not tohave her.
Tuck shrugs again thensays, "It's not really that big of a surprise, I mean, isit?"
I stumble over to the footof the bottom bunk bed.I still think it's ridiculously funny thatTucker still has fucking bunk beds.He's fucking eighteen yearsold.I slide down to sit on the floor and lean back against themattress and Tuck sits on his writing desk, sucking down a bottleof water.I could probably use one of those, but right now I'mfeeling too lazy to get it.And I want to know why Rory's behaviortonight wasn't surprising to Tuck.
"Why would it not besurprising?Sheended it withme, not the other way around.We were together, she wanted togo back to being friends.She said so very clearly, I fuckingassure you… She knows how I feel about her."
"Does she?"Tuckerinterjects.
"Of course she does, Ifucking told her!"
"And what did she say?"Tucker asks, nosing after the details.Fucking Tucker.Why the fuck wouldhe need the play-by-play now?What does it matter what she'd saidback then?
"You know what the fuckfucking happened."I really do curse a lotwhen I'm drunk, apparently."She said sheloved me too, and then she broke up with me not a full fucking daylater, and then left a goddamnedmotherfuckingnote, and got on a plane in themiddle of the night."I repeat what he already knows for hissadistic fucking pleasure.My chest hurts.I rub it with my fist.I've been doing that a lot lately.
"So she said she lovedyou, too."
