"You touched me," shefinally breathes.
"I…" I don't know if she'sjust making an observation or reprimanding me.
"You haven't touched me inweeks.Not even a high five," she grumbles as her eyes drop to hersneakers.
"I…"Fuck.I can't exactly sayI haven't touched you because I'm afraid that ifI do, I won't be able to stop.I sighagain."I'm just trying to find the right path back to thisjust friendsthing, youknow?"I say instead.
"Yeah," she whispers, butI know she doesn't mean it.
I feel like a colossalasshole.Here I was trying to be all hands-off because of my ownbroken heart, and Rory is fucking suffering because of it.Shecan't even tolerate the touch of most people, even her friends, andshe's been to fucking hell and barely back in the past month, andshe needs support.
I grab her and pull herback into a hug, and she comes willingly.
"I'm sorry.It wasstupid.I'mstupid," I murmur.She doesn't argue, she just accepts mycomfort.
"Sorry-" We areinterrupted by Carl, and Rory steps out of my embrace and blushesagain."I— uh… sorry, I had to, you know, deal with Tucker," shesays vaguely, waving her hand dismissively toward thehouse.
I don't take my eyes offRory, though I'd like to shoot Carl a glare to tell her just howmuch she's interrupting.
"Do you still want to go?Or—"
No, she wants to stay,butyouneed togo,I answer silently just as Rory answersout loud.
"Yeah."
The weight expandstenfold.I knew one hug wouldn't change anything of course, but itstill hurts.
Everything still fuckinghurts.
I force a weak smile tolet her know it's okay.That everything is going to be okay.Evenif I don't fully believe it myself.
Carl hands Rory her purse,and murmurs a goodbye.I nod at her, but my eyes are still lockedon Rory.
"'Bye, Sam," shemurmurs.
"Later, Ror."
Chapter Five
The school week is dragging on and it's hard to believe it'sonly Wednesday.But on the other hand, I've been in a much bettermood than I have since returning from Miami.I could pretend it hasnothing to do with Sam, but I've come to learn that lying to myselfrarely does any good.
I still don't understandwhy he spent weeks so careful not to touch me.I understand evenless why he decided to hug me like I freaking belong to him againafter that disaster of a brunch.But I wasn't surprised that herecognized exactly what had upset me.
His stupid cousin bringingup Robin attacking me in Miami came out of nowhere.It stunned me,made my pulse skip.But his next words were what sliced straightthrough my chest, cracked open my sternum and flayed myheart.
Is she really that hotthat guys can't control themselves?
I was already on edge whenDaniel referenced somehot chickthat Sam had mentioned the last time they spoke.I don't know why I assumed they spoke often, maybe because Sam andThea seem so close, but that's where my brain went.It presumedthat Sam had met someone, or taken an interest in someonenew.
And so I was alreadydesperately unsettled when Daniel brought up Miami.His wordssmacked me in the face.I was instantly assaulted with images fromthat night.Images of myself.My short, white sundress, my done upface and tousled hair from the night before.
All the words of the menwho betrayed me rung through my mind, about how I'd asked forRobin's abuse—how the way I'd acted and dressed had led himon.
I breathed and counted andbreathed some more.But it wouldn't do.
How's a man supposed tobehave himself?
Robin's words were thelast ones to crash through my head before I made my hasty escape tothe bathroom where I thanked God out loud that I'd had theforethought to keep a pill in the small mini pocket above the frontpocket of my jeans.Somehow I knew I was likely to need it, thoughI couldn't have anticipated Sam's socially inept cousin.
