I sigh. I don’t know if I’m disappointed or relieved. Of course I want Brody arrested so he can’t hurt Liz, or me, or anyone else again. But if that means David and I are done…my heart aches and my eyes sting at just the thought. I look away.
David’s hands ascend to my shoulders. “You’ll never do that shit again, Bea,” he says without warning, softly yet sternly.
I stare at him.
“Promise me.”
I frown.
He gives me a gentle shake. “Promise. The pills, or anything else. No matter how bad you feel. You will never do that shit again, you hear me?”
His fervor stuns me for a moment.
“Promise!”
“Of course I won’t!” I snap back. “I would never do something like that again.”
David glares at me, and I know what he needs from me—after all, he’s said it quite clearly.
“I promise, David,” I breathe.
He sucks in a sharp breath, every bit of his hostility fading as his shoulders sag, drained. “I wish you’d never met him,” he murmurs.
I shake my head. “I told you. It wasn’t really about—”
“Yeah, I get all that,” David interrupts. “But I still wish you’d never fucking met him.”
My smile is small and wistful. Sometimes I wish that, too, but I’ve long since stopped begrudging any experience that has made me me.
“I should have stopped it.” His voice is so low I think I must have misheard him.
“What?”
David’s eyes dart between mine. “That night. I almost kissed you,” he says out of nowhere. His voice is low and hoarse. As if his confession has been held back for so long that even his own vocal cords oppose its release.
I remember that night, of course—that moment. I’ve replayed it in my mind a thousand times. Maybe more. It was the first moment—until recently, the only moment—that I actually wondered if David could return my attraction.
“You probably don’t remember.”
“I remember, David.”
He blinks at me for a beat before his Adam’s apple rolls with his swallow. I want to kiss his neck, to trace the spot with my tongue, to taste his skin.
“I wanted to kiss you.”
“W-why didn’t you?”
He takes a deep breath. “Cap.”
Of course. Cap. Sammy. My brother. Right. Because I’m just David’s friend’s little sister, and that is all I will ever be. I nod slowly, resolutely.
“I thought you didn’t remember.”
“How could I not remember?”
“Figured Falco took the spotlight that night.”
But Brian has never overshadowed David. Brian was something different, something attainable, and affectionate, and real. But he never changed the fact that when David was around, he sucked all the air from the room, and kickstarted my heart into overdrive until all I could hear was the echo of that familiar beat, Da-vid, Da-vid, Da-vid.
