"You gotta talk to me, darlin'. Let me explain-"
"What do you need to explain, Robin? That you can fuck whoever you want, but I can't sleep over with my best friend like I've been doin' my whole life?" I find my voice, still shaky, but at least I can make my point.
"I swear to God I haven't slept with anyone since I started seein' you."
Now that throws me. I didn't expect him to outright deny it.
"You wanna sit down?" He gestures to the two porch steps.
I shake my head, holding my ground.
Robin sighs. "Well I'm gonna sit, if you don't mind."
I shrug and he sits sideways, one leg outstretched, his elbow resting on his knee.
"I know you're lyin'," I hedge, but he shakes his head in further denial.
"Look Rory, I've made mistakes. I won't lie to you, okay? I haven't been perfect, but I haven't fucked anyone since last summer, I swear it."
I blink down at him, completely befuddled.
"If Foster said otherwise, it's because he's jealous, sweetheart. I know you don't wanna see it, but he wants you."
I shake my head again. "You're wrong. You're so damn wrong, Robin. But the fact is, I didn't hear it from Cam. All he did was comfort his friend when she was upset. I heard it fromyou," I say carefully.
It takes him a moment to recompose his shock. "Look darlin', I realize I was drunk last night, but I know I didn't do anything as crazy as tell my girl I'm baggin' someone else. Especially when it ain't even true," he drawls.
Does he think this isfunny?I'm about to tell him what I overheard, when I register something he just said. "What do you mean you'vemade mistakes?"
Robin rubs his face with his palms. "Please sit down?"
I don't move.
"Please?"
I sigh and relent, sitting on the opposite end of his step. "I've done other things. Not sex. Just... other things. We never talked about, you know, our expectations, you and me." He presses his eyes shut, like it hurts him to even say it out loud, though I'm pretty certain I'm the one who's hurting. "I know that sounds like a cop-out, Rory. I hear the words comin' outta my mouth and they sounded so reasonable in my head." He mutters a curse to himself. "I didn't want to pressure you, sweetheart. And I want you so damn bad, all the fuckin' time. It's all I can think about most days. I don't want anyone else. But I'm a man, and..."
"And you took care of things elsewhere," I finish for him.
He shakes his head in self-reproach, but his words don't match his expression. "It's been four months, Rory. I figured when you were ready to... move things along..." He takes another deep breath. "This whole thing is just crazy, becauseyou'rethe only one I wanna touch. The only one I want touchin' me. I only thought of you, sweetheart, even when I- Fuck, this sounds so bad." Robin rubs his temples with his thumb and middle finger.
"Yeah, it does," I agree.
Robin pulls his leg in and scoots closer, leaning forward to stares intently down at me. "You tell me you want it to be just us, and it's done. You hear me? I won't even look at another girl," he swears.
But as much as I want that to make it all better, I shake my head. "You knew better, Rob. I'm not stupid, okay? I know I'm not what you're used to. I know I'm makin' you wait, and I know you want more. But you knew who I was when you first asked me out, and you know who Iwasn't. And... it just kills me that you went around with other girls when we were..." I trail off pathetically. When we werewhat? Going on dates? Just kissing?
Because Robin's definitely wrong here, but he's right, too. We never talked about being exclusive, I've known this all along. And as much as the thought of it hurts, the thought of losing him hurts more. But then, I never even really had him.
Robin grabs my hand unexpectedly. "Don't say that, sweetheart. My heart can't take it. It hurts me so bad that you're hurtin'." His plead desperately, and I'm lost. I wasn't expecting him to care so much, or the sincerity of his emotions.
"How can you get angry with me for sleeping over at Cam's when you're seein' other girls? Even if I did hook up with him, which I didn't. It just doesn't make any sense, Robin." I think in the back of my mind I hope against hope he comes up with some unfathomable explanation that warrants forgiveness, but if it exists, I can't see it.
"Rory, you know I want more. You know I've been waitin' on you. If you suddenly decided you were ready to do more, and you did it with someone else? Yeah, I'd have a problem with that." He inches closer to me.
"Doesn't sound like you've been doin' much waitin'," I mutter under my breath.
"I have with you, sweetheart. You're a female, you can't understand. But you're so damn hot. You get me all worked up, and then I can't do shit about it. I'm sorry I took care of it with someone else, but I swear, I always knew I'd stop when you were ready for more."
