Sam's mom emerges from the foyer and introduces herself as Elaine Caplan. She's absolutely stunning, but looking at her children, I'd expect nothing less. Bits got her blonde hair from her mom, but Elaine's is shoulder length and layered, and her eyes are brown, similar to mine.
She invites us to sit at the kitchen table, and serves me chicken breast with rice pilaf and steamed vegetables. It's really rather good. We chat about school, and they ask minimal questions about my life before I moved here, and I wonder if Sam warned them not to pry into my past. I don't know if I'm grateful or annoyed if he did.
We study in the dining room after dinner, and by the time Sam guarantees me a ninety or better, I'm already half exhausted. My phone buzzes.
Shit,it's my mom. It's almost ten and I haven't checked in since she called me when she got home just after eight and I told her about my car. My phone screen reveals several missed calls from her, and I sigh as I answer, peeking over at Sam, who's gathering up our practice tests.
"Hi, mom. I'm fine. Just finishing up now," I answer.
"Rory, do you know how worried I've been? I've been calling for thirty minutes!" she shouts, obviously frazzled. My mother used to be a totally laid back parent. She'd get passionately riled up about clients and causes, but me she trusted implicitly. And while I think she still trustsmefor the most part, my judgment is another story.
She was truly shocked to the bone to learn what'd happened - what'dbeenhappening for so long right under her nose. I know in many ways she blamed herself.Blamesherself. Not as much as she blames my father though, and I think that actually helped with her self-recrimination. But since everything came out, she's been making up for lost time. Where we used to go full days without connecting, now she checks in with me every couple of hours when I'm out. Where I used to eat alone or next door with Cam, now she's sure to have dinner with me most week nights, unless she has to work late, .
"Sorry, I've been studying. I told you. My phone was on vibrate in my bag. I didn't hear it," I explain.
"God,Rory. I've been imagining all kinds of things. I don't even know thisSamperson! How do I know-"
"Mom, calm down. Sam's my friend, okay? I told you. We're not even alone. I'm fine. I mean it," I reassure her.From hands-off parent to helicopter in one year or less.
Sam watches me out of the corner of his eye, and though he's trying to feign disinterest in a conversation that is clearly about him, I know he hears every word of my end.
My mom sighs. "Alright, why don't you give me his address and I'll come pick you up."
"It's fine, Mom, I told you he would drive me home."
"Aurora, that boy has spent his evening rescuing you from a dead car battery and teaching you math, give him a break-"
"Alright one sec!" I cut her off. She's driving me crazy. I hate when she calls me 'Aurora', it just reminds me of my father. And the truth is I feel guilty, because this isn't her. This isn't the Amy Pine I grew up with. This is a woman who had the rug pulled out from under her in the worst way, all because of me, and who lost her husband and her home in the fallout. And she's right about me burdening Sam, too.
I peek over at Sam, who's given up pretending not to be paying attention. "Everything okay?" he asks tentatively.
I nod. "Yeah, my mom is just lecturing me on imposing on people. She wants to come pick me up to save you the drive, but I don't even know the address here."
Sam rolls his eyes."Imposing?Don't be ridiculous, you just said it yourself,'Sayum's mah friend, okay?'" he teases in an exaggeratedly southern Rory voice that sounds more like Scarlet O'Hara than me. I giggle and cover the mic on my phone.
"I don't mind driving you, really," he adds sincerely.
"Yeah but you have to drive me to school in the morning too. My mom leaves too early to get to the city for work-"
Sam has taken two long-legged steps and is suddenly right in front of me. He places his hand gently on my upper arm. "I'm driving you home, like I said I would, and tomorrow I'll drive you to school, like I said I would. You wouldn't be calling it an imposition if I was Carl, and if you were Tuck you'd be demanding I take you through the drive-thru for takeout on the way."
I stare at him up, silently bemused, because I know he's right. I don't stop him when he slowly takes my phone from my hand, and proceeds to introduce himself to my mother. He assures her it's no imposition to give me a ride, that I'd do the same for him, and that I've actually done him a favor by forcing him to study for our test. When he hands me back the phone, my mom is calm and there's a smile in her voice.
"See you soon, honey," she sings, and hangs up.
What has Sam done to my mother?
****
On the ride home I once again marvel at how comfortable I am in a situation that is, in itself, one of my most precarious triggers. I remember the last time I was alone in a car with a man - when Sheriff Chipley, the father of one of my closest friends and a man I'd known my entire life , gave me a ride home from his office last May. I freaked out. When he parked in front of my house I tried the door handle, but it was locked. I turned to find him facing me, not getting out of the car like I'd expected. In retrospect he was probably just poised to offer me some comforting words, since he turned out to be one of the few people to actually stand by me through the aftermath, but in that moment all I knew was utter terror. I smacked him, screamed, cried, hyperventilated, and ended up spending the night in the hospital.
But right now, alone with Sam, who outwardly seems to have a lot in common with Robin, I feel no fear. Because I believe that inside Sam and Robin couldn't possibly be more different. Sam is slowly earning my trust - something that just over a month ago I'd never have thought possible - and I smile to myself at the thought.
"What's with the secret smile?" Sam asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I look over at him, chewing my lip as I consider him a moment, before deciding to simply tell him the truth. "I beat a trigger," I reply proudly.
"Oh yeah? Which one is that?"
