It's only a few hours later that I arrive at Andrew's house with Carl. Tina is already here. Chelsea has started a game of "Never have I ever" where someone says something they have never done, and the rest of the group must drink if they have. I sit holding my cup of beer, surprised how open people are being about such personal experiences.
Sam doesn't play. He stands in the corner with a few of his friends, chatting and sipping his drink.
"Never have I ever... had sex in water," a girl named Sandy shouts.
"Fresh or salt?" Andrew asks and Tina playfully punches his arm.
"What does it matter?! Either, both!" Sandy replies in her drunken excitement and a few people sip their drink, including both Andrew and Tina.
I have yet to take a sip.
"Never have I ever... gotten laid on school property," a guy whose name I've forgotten says and two boys take a sip.
I shoot out of my seat and murmur to Carl that I need some fresh air. Barely a moment later, I'm through the back door where a girl I think is named Lisa is smoking a cigarette.
"Can I bum one?" I ask. I don't want to smoke, and I rarely do it, but the truth is, I find cigarettes calming. She hands one over as she finishes her own and heads back inside and I'm grateful to be alone.
I sit on one of the steps that lead from the back door to the patio and inhale long and hard, allowing the nicotine to relax my nerves. I remind myself that smoking is bad. Lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease.I've silently repeated this mantra again and again on the rare occasions I've smoked, but it doesn't stop me from sucking the thing down to the filter any more than it has the last time or the time before that.
"So that sex on school property comment sure sent you running away fast," an unfamiliar male voice slurs suggestively.
My pulse races as I turn around to see Dave leaning back against the wall of the house, sipping his beer.
"Just needed some air," I choke out.
He smirks. "So you haven't done it at school yet? You know, I'd be happy to help you remedy that." I don't know if he's teasing or hitting on me, and I don't care.
"Not. Interested," I grit out through my clenched jaw.
"Ah, a good girl. Well I don't usually do the girlfriend thing, but you know, I think I'd be willing to give it a try for a chance at a pretty little thing like-"
"Back off, Dave," Sam's low voice murmurs.
I turn. I didn't hear him come outside, and my hands are trembling, all my energy concentrated on counting backwards and taking deep breaths.
I'm relieved not to be alone with Dave, but now I'm alone with two guys. I remind myself that there's a party, or get-together anyway, just inside. I remind myself that Sam is my friend. That he's just defended me.
I turn away and silently count backwards again.
"I'm just getting to know the new girl, Cap," Dave slurs lightheartedly.
"Just leave her alone," Sam says quietly, and I peek over at them.
"Oh, sorry man. She yours?" Dave asks.
Why are they talking about me like I'm not even here?I jump up, suddenly angry. "I ain't his! I ain't anyone's!" I shout, the southern accent I've worked so hard to suppress since I moved here flooding out unbidden.
Dave raises his eyebrows, surprised by my outburst, but Sam appears to be trying to stifle a smile. Dave looks to Sam, who just shrugs. "You heard her, she's her own woman. Now back off."
Dave shrugs, and heads back inside without another word.
I almost thank Sam for standing up for me, but my gratitude dies in my mouth. Instead, I just sit back down on my step.
"You okay?" Sam asks softly.
"Yeah." I peek up at him. He seems conflicted.
"You, uh, want me to leave you alone?" he asks. He knows I'm afraid of being alone with him, but for some reason, right now, I'm not. Maybe it's knowing that there's a crowd of people just on the other side of the door.
