She was in her room packing her things, an action which was more difficult than she had hoped. She wanted it done quickly, so she could put these memories behind her. Once she was done, she would find Hugh, she would explain to him why she was leaving, she would apologize, and she would hope that Hugh could forgive her.
Was she going to then seek out the Duke and tell him herself? She still was not sure. What she feared more than anything was that when she did, he would not care. Just the thought of that… it hurt more than anything else.
“Miss Norleigh…” The Duke’s voice shattered through her consciousness and brought her back into the room.
She spun about, and her eyes widened with surprise to find the Duke standing in the doorway. She had a folded dress in her hands, and she looked about awkwardly as if for somewhere to put it. Even though she was committed to leaving, being found out like this brought its own kind of shame.
“Your Grace!” she gasped. “What… I did not expect to see you.”
“And that is its own problem,” the Duke sighed. “I suspect you think that I have been avoiding you, when the truth is…” His words trailed off as he registered what she was doing. “Miss Norleigh, what is this? What are you…”
She grimaced and she very nearly changed her mind and came up with a lie. It had been easy for Yvette to tell herself that she was ready to leave when the Duke was nowhere in sight, but facing him now, forced to look upon the man who she still held deep feelings for, and she almost forgot why it was that she was doing this.
“I have come to a decision.” She drew herself up and looked directly at the Duke so that he had nowhere to hide… so that she had nowhere to hide, also. “Where I have enjoyed these past months with you and Hugh, I have come to realize recently that there is no longer a place for me here.”
“What?”
“Please know that I have not come to this decision lightly,” she continued. “But I believe it is for the best. Your secret is safe with me, Your Grace, you should know that. Thus, there is no reason for you not to hire somebody else in my stead. Somebody who is…” Her chin began to tremble. “Somebody who is more capable than I.”
“Miss Norleigh…” The surprise behind his eyes, and the clear pain in his voice, was almost enough for her to change her mind.
Be strong, Yvette. He wants this, as do you. And soon enough he will see that. This is for the best, for all involved.
“I appreciate all that you have done for me,” she said, her voice cracking just a fraction. “But my father needs me. And Hugh deserves a real teacher, someone who understands this world far better than I.”
“No,” he said firmly. “I… I do not accept your resignation.”
“It is not about accepting it, Your Grace. It is my decision to make, and I have made it.” She offered him a soft smile, not willing to show any anger toward him. “Please, allow me to do this without any fuss. It is for the best.”
She breathed a deep sigh of relief once those final words were uttered. So sure was she of this path, not to mention the Duke’s feelings, that she knew he would accept her resignation without too much pushback. In her mind, he wanted this, and now that she had given him an easy escape, he would latch onto it with both hands.
The Duke looked at her with confusion. He stayed in the doorway as if frozen, and Yvette wondered if he might…no, he will not fight for you. Why would he? Likely, he is trying to think of a nice way to accept so that we can both move on.
In truth, she hoped he would simply turn and leave. That would be easier for both, even if it hurt more than she could bear.
“I’m not going to try and stop you,” the Duke said. “If you want to leave, that is your decision.”
Yvette’s heart cracked down the middle, and she turned as if she meant to go back to packing. “Go – good,” she stammered. “Thank you for understanding.”
“Before you do leave, please, might I say something?”
“I can’t stop you.”
“I understand that you are upset with me,” he began and she heard him take a step into the room. “Just as I understand that you have every right to be. For the last few days, I have considered how I might explain why I did as I did. Excuses I might make. Justifications I might force on you. But I am not going to do that.”
Yvette faced her bed, her back to the Duke, and her entire body trembled as she listened to him. She could hear the hurt in his voice; how hesitant and unsure he was… how hard this was for him.
“The truth is, there is no excuse,” he said. “I lied to you. Worse than that, I did not trust you. And nothing I say or do will change that. You are right to be angry with me, and I want you to know that.”
“Thank you,” she said again, praying he would just leave. She needed him to leave. “Now, if there is nothing else –”
“All I can do is tell you why I did as I did,” he cut her off, and she heard him take another step into the room.
“I know why you did it,” she said before she could stop herself. “You did it to protect yourself.”
“That’s a part of it, yes.”
“No…” She forced herself not to turn and face him, even as the anger started to build inside of her. “That is all of it. Perhaps your intentions were right. Perhaps you also wanted to do what was best for Hugh. But at the heart of it, what you did was for your own preservation. The rest of us be damned.”
