Lucinda laughed. “So, it is not what the Duke did that upsets you, but how it affects you.”
“What?” Yvette blinked. “No, that is not… I did nothing wrong!”
“I did not say that you did.” Lucinda tore her gaze from her baby and looked plainly at Yvette. “I understand that you are upset, as I understand why. But it sounds to me that this has little to do with what the Duke did, and more to do with how it has affected you. Your opinion of him and…” She shook her head. “And your relationship.”
Yvette’s cheeks flushed. “Relationship…” She stammered and looked away. “We do not have… this is not about that.”
“As you say.” Lucinda looked knowingly at Yvette before going back to her child. “All I know is that the Duke did right by me when he did not have to. And he did right by Hugh, when he did not have to. Was everything he did perfect? Likely not. But who in this world is perfect? That is someone I would like to meet.”
Yvette scowled at Lucinda, as if the woman was responsible for the way that she was feeling.
The reality was that Lucinda’s words were a little too perceptive for Yvette’s liking. She had spent these last few days considering what the Duke did from her own perspective only, never once bothering or wanting to see the bigger picture.
He hurt me, and that is why I am upset. But he did it for a good reason… a reason he had no real control over. Am I wrong to be so upset with him?
Yvette knew too that it went far deeper than that.
This wasn’t just about the lies that the Duke told. This wasn’t just about Yvette feeling used. Nor was it about her claim that she did not know the Duke as well as she thought she did. That was all fluff, excuses that she told herself to justify her feelings.
Deep down in the pit of her soul, the real reason she was so upset was because this singular incident shone a light on the gulf that existed between her and the Duke.
It was just as Lucinda had said. She and the Duke were from two different worlds. They stood so far apart, and their problems were so separate, that he likely did not even stop to consider how Yvette might react.
Worse than that, he did not trust her, likely because he assumed that she would not understand.
Yvette had spent the past month trying to convince herself that she did not have feelings for the Duke. And then, when she finally admitted to these feelings, when she finally felt safe to do so because she thought he felt the same for her, the veil was lifted and what was left for her to see was the stark reality of their relationship and how he saw her.
They were not the same. Their worlds were different. And like it or not, they would never be one.
If he did care about me, then he would have come to see me. He would have explained. He would have done anything to make me understand. But he has not done that, and there can only be the one reason…
“You’re right,” Yvette sighed with regret. “I have no reason to be upset. The Duke and I… we are not the same, and I must remember that.” She firmed herself up and sniffed back the tears. “I was wrong to think that he might care about how his actions affected me.”
“Yvette, that is not what I meant.”
“It is,” Yvette said. “He has bigger things to worry himself with than the opinions of his staff. I need to learn my place. Really, I should just be grateful that he told me at all.”
Lucinda looked upon Yvette with worry, and while she might have had more to say, her baby woke suddenly and started to cry.
For this, Yvette was glad. She was done trying to justify what had happened. She was over trying to find excuses. She was ready to admit now why she felt the way that she did and while that did not make her feel any better, it provided her with a path to heal.
It was a path that was free from the Duke, because they were never meant to walk so close together. In another world, maybe, but that world was not this one…
“Thank you, Lucinda,” Yvette said over the crying of the baby. “I needed to hear that.”
“Yvette…” Lucinda looked at her with pity. “If you need anything, you know I am always here.”
“I know.” Yvette smiled at her as she stood. “Thank you.”
She left the cook alone with her baby. She walked through the manor and back to her room. As she did, Yvette wondered about her future, knowing that soon her time would come to leave this manor, this life, behind.
Would she have a child of her own one day? There was every chance that she would do. But would she have one with the Duke? That, she knew, would never happen. And it was time she accepted the fact and moved on. The Duke certainly had…
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Yvette had come to a difficult decision, but she knew it was the right one. Despite how much it hurt her, despite how much she did not want to do it, she had decided that it was time for her to leave this place and return home.
I wonder if the Duke will even notice… just as I wonder how long it will take him to replace me. Likely, not long at all.
