She didn’t, actually. But she couldn’t bear to have him suffer anymore for her own actions, no matter how well intended. And successful.
“You do love him, then,” the duchess said, her voice thick with memories. She had loved her duke as well, even through his final terrible problems.
Pip’s smile grew too obviously wistful. “I’m afraid so. Unfortunately, the person we both loved most in the world stands right between us. Beau will never forgive me for supporting Theo’s desire to purchase colors.”
The duchess nodded. “I know. I’m afraid that you have some work ahead of you if you plan on making this marriage a living thing, Pip.”
This time Pip almost lost her battle against the tears. “I am greatly afraid I lost that battle before it ever began.”
The duchess squeezed Pip’s hand and reached up to brush back an errant curl from Pip’s forehead. “Nonsense. I have never known you to falter in the face of a challenge, little Pip. In fact, I would have said that you thrive on them. Don’t you think this one is worth the effort?”
Pip looked into those gentle blue eyes and wondered how to hope. “I don’t know,” was all she could admit.
“Well, my dear,” the duchess said. “It seems to me you have two options. Either work on this marriage or consign it to the dustbin. I must tell you from my experience with many ton marriages, the second option makes for very long, very lonely years.” For a minute her eyes grew distant and sad. “From my own experience, the hard work to attain the first is well worth it.”
For a moment, Pip was too moved to speak. “The situations are a little different,” she finally protested.
“Not so much. Our marriage was arranged. Yours is...urged. But still, he chose to announce it to an audience.”
How funny, Pip thought. It occurred to her at that very moment that as much as she’d dreamed of it, she had never actually expected Beau to choose her. No one chose her; not really. Maybe for an entertaining dinner partner, or a comfortable house guest. But even her family had a bad habit of misplacing her when they weren’t paying attention. She had learned not to expect more.
Wasthere an option? Could the duchess be right, that a real marriage was possible after all? If it was possible, she could do no less than try.
She must have been unconsciously nodding, because the duchess began to smile.
“All right then,” she said, and then, oddly, looked away. And hemmed and hawed a bit, gazing over the bedroom Pip had been assigned back when she was a scruffy girl of ten and been allowed to decorate in hand-painted Japanese wallpaper, cherry red bed curtains and spring green chairs.
“We shall miss you here,” the duchess softly said.
Which was when Pip really understood just how much her life was about to change. She would no longer have the comfort of a familiar bedroom here. No longer be able to see the staff as friends and the Riptons as family. She would have a new family now. A new home. It would be her task to turn Delamere from a rigid mortuary into a home. She actually looked forward to that. She had always loved the old place.
She just wished she could say the same about Beau’s aunt and uncle.
“Where are you going after the wedding?” the duchess asked.
Pip blinked. She blinked again. “I have no idea.”
The duchess smiled. “Well, I’m certain Drummond does. He is such an organized man. And a gentleman.” She nodded to herself, smoothing her hands over her skirt. “A real gentleman.”
Her hesitation was making Pip nervous. “I have always thought so.”
The duchess nodded again. “Pip, your mother would have this talk with you right now….”
Pip almost bounced to her feet, suddenly understanding. “Oh. Oh, no...I mean….”
She could think of nothing more embarrassing than having the duchess instruct her on the matters between a man and a woman. Especially if the man was to be Beau.Especiallyafter that scene the other night, which was still producing odd aftershocks.
“My motherdid,” Pip insisted. “Instruct us. While we were in Vienna. There were so many foreign gentlemen, you see, and so much entertaining. She thought…well, she thought we girls should be…er, enlightened.”
It was the duchess’s turn to blink. “Oh. Oh, well, that is good. But...did she tell you that with the right man, this time can be...wonderful?”
If only Pip had seen no more than the wistful expression on the duchess’s face when thinking of her late husband, she would have understood. Her own mother had positively beamed when she had spoken of what it meant to make love with the man you loved. Not something Pip wanted to hear about her own father, no matter how much she loved him. But reassuring in its own way.
“Mama felt we girls should be completely prepared as we went out into the world.” Pip smiled. “You know how she loathes forced ignorance. Mary Wollstonecraft was our primer.”
“Oh, good,” the duchess said with another series of nods. She sounded quite relieved, which made Pip even more relieved. “Just remember that. It is a wonderful adventure, Pip, with the man you love. I couldn’t be happier that you will enjoy that adventure with Beau Drummond.” Her smile grew impish. “Once you convince him of the wisdom of it, of course.”
Pip smiled back at her, wishing she were as sanguine. Perhaps if Beau had come to her on his own rather than been dragged into the declaration by bad timing.
