He would be the one with the right to wake that lithe, sweet body, the one to teach her what pleasure was. He would be the one to hold her children in his arms.
It simply wasn’t right.
Rubbing at the headache that had been brewing behind his eyes since Pamela had slipped into his room hours ago, he willed his body into obedience and turned to return to his room. He would get no sleep this night. He still had to make sure Pip wasn’t mistaken about these plans. Then he had to get the plans off to Drake before anybody knew he even had them. As soon as he could after everyone showed up at the little stone church out back in the morning to see him get married.
It was going to be a long day.
And he still had to apologize.
4
Pip imagined other girls dreamed of their wedding day, planned it down to the last tossed flower petal and champagne sip. She hadn’t. Not because she had never expected to get married. But she had never expected the wedding ceremony to be the focus of her life. She had spent her daydreaming hours working out how she would make Beau’s life easier for him, how she would bring him laughter and spontaneity and comfort. How she would love him back to life after Theo’s death.
She should have known better than to risk her own happiness on a fantasy. Bringing Beau back from the darkness that surrounded him would have been hard enough if he had chosen to marry her himself. Now it would be all but impossible. Which meant that she would have to wade around in the morass of his guilt and grief as well as her own for years to come.
Was it a wonder she hadn’t bothered planning her own wedding? Besides, the Duchess had had quite enough fun planning it for her, with mostly unhelpful suggestions from the princess. Pip figured that if she could make it through the ceremony, they would be in ecstasy, and she would be past all the fuss.
Still, it seemed that the wedding couldn’t be accomplished without her participation. Nodding and smiling didn’t seem to be enough. So, she had sat through fittings and hair stylings and menu decisions, flower planningand seating arrangements for the wedding breakfast. The only thing she was saved from was invitations, since they wouldn't have time to ask anyone not already at the house party.
But that wasn’t the worst of it. That came with the morning, dim and chilly and threatening rain. Joyful, with her lugubrious expression, helped Pip into her newly beribboned dress and fluffed her short curly hair like down in a pillow before tucking it up under her new bonnet. Pip was content after that to just sit before her mirror wondering what in the name of St. Monica she was supposed to do with this marriage now.
Which was where the duchess found her. With a quick rap on the door, Lizzie’s mother swept into the room with the elegance of a swan, her attire flawless in Bishop’s blue and her hair swept up like golden silk. She was smiling, her dear blue eyes twinkling. But then, the duchess was always smiling. Every time Pip had ever found herself deposited on the Riptons’ doorstep as the handy alternative to her grandparents when she wasn’t allowed on the more delicate diplomatic trips, the duchess had greeted her with a gentle smile and open arms.
Just like now.
Pip got to her feet, shorter than the duchess by several inches, and surrendered to that generous embrace.
Closing her eyes, Pip inhaled the scent of lilacs, the duchess’s particular scent, a scent that comforted her. “I didn’t mean to cause you such a fuss,” she apologized, wishing she could stay safe here with just the duchess and her lilac scent and smile.
“Of course, you didn’t, my dear. Can we sit a moment?”
They sat. Joyful took one look at the arrangement and retreated like a tide.
“I know I am being unpardonably tardy,” the duchess said, her eyes expressing anxiety she would never allow in her posture. “But I did want to tell you that if this marriage is too onerous, we can call it off. We would be glad to have you stay here for a while until the news dies down. I hope you consider this as much your home as Knight’s Rest.”
For the first time since this disaster unfolded, Pip fought tears. Leave it to the duchess. Pip leaned forward and briefly took the duchess’s hand in hers. There was so much she wanted to say, but she knew it would make this lovely woman terribly uncomfortable. So, she would tell Lizzie later and let her pass it along, all of the love Pip felt for this most kind lady she had always considered her second mother.
“Thank you,” she said instead, sitting back. “It is more than kind to offer to entangle your family in my problems. But Beau reminded me that not one person would believe that after all these years of trotting after him like his faithful spaniel, I’d suddenly run shy. They would be certain that it was Beau who backed out.” She smiled, even though there was no humor. “I find I cannot do that to a man who is one of the most honorable gentlemen I have ever known.”
“You seem quite sure. You don’t think he will…er, punish you for your actions?”
Pip’s smile was a bit sad. “No. Not in the normal way. He will do his best to simply pretend I don’t exist for a bit.”
“Even though you did him such a favor?”
For a moment Pip could only stare at her. “I….”
Lizzie’s mother had quite an impish smile on her when called for. “Do you imagine you are the only one who knows exactly what goes on with the men around here? Why do you think Lizzie was at the Academy with you?”
Pip blinked a couple of times. “The late duke? He was a…”
Again, the duchess smiled, although this time tinged with sadness. “Let us just say that he had a position of some delicacy, which put our girls in a vulnerable position. Thus, they all went to the academy with you. My assumption about this current peccadillo is that you prevented our Beau from being caught out in some clandestine work.”
Pip blinked. “Life gets more and more interesting by the day,” she admitted.
She got a pat on the hand for that. “If Drummond in any way tries to punish you for this marriage,” the duchess insisted, “you come to me. I would be more than happy to set him straight.”
Pip patted the duchess’s hand. “Oh, I think I can handle Beau.”
