So I did something I knew I shouldn't.
Any time a guy got distant with me, making some lame excuse about why he couldn't hang out or talk to me, I'd learn the hard way that it was already over. Men who wanted to walk away once always wanted to walk away. Clinging to them, beggingthem to stay, only dragged out the inevitable and put me in a position to be used. Being actually wanted, being desired, wasn't something that would come from begging. It wasn't something that could be demanded.
I wrapped my hand around the thickest filament I could feel and grabbed it like my yoni depended on it.
"Don't you dare run away from me," I said, feeling that rising feeling of need within me, the terror that this was about to end before it even began. My emotions didn't care about what he was saying; they only cared about what I needed in the moment, and the fear that clenched at my heart wasn't something that ever responded to reason. "I don't need some alien lawyer to tell you what I want."
"I can't run," he laughed, the sound pleasant, the way the vibrations from it tickled me, as if there were subtones to his voice I couldn't quite hear but could feel through my body. "I'm shell locked."
My anxiety ebbed at the sound of his delight, and the fact that the filament I'd grabbed onto was thick, my finger and thumb just managing to touch as they curled around it. There were smaller ones, but this one felt just right, and the way it curled back around my hand felt like he was holding onto me, like he was gripping me.
The physical contact made the tension in me ebb.
"What does that mean?" I asked as I slowly slid my hand along it in a way that a human would immediately take as aggressive flirtation. He wasn't human, though, so he might not take it the same way.
Maybe I should see if any of these neurofilaments had an end that I could suck on.
How would that come across? I didn't even know the biology of this guy. Maybe they didn't do things in the fit the parts together kind of way that the rest of the other aliens andhumans did. I'd read the bit about the Courtship Mediation Office, and maybe he was right. Their job was to prevent misunderstandings. But then I would have to let go, take space, and be alone with my thoughts that would tell me I was crazy and he didn't like me, and then when he next came to talk to me, I would say something wrong, and it would be over before it even ever began.
"Explaining that is a lot more than showing an ankle," he said, but his tone didn't sound reproachful. It sounded intrigued.
If he were the one with the power, then I was the one who had to pursue. He had crushed on me the moment he saw me, but didn't reach out to introduce himself because he thought his interest wasn't proper. I didn't know much about him, but I was excited to learn more. I was on a singles cruise, in outer space, and this was the first guy I had ever met who both thought my creations were cool and was down to work on a project with me. Not just down, but the second I mentioned what I was trying to do, he came up with solutions and made the whole thing happen!
I wanted to fuck his sexy brains out!
I just didn't know exactly what that meant.
I knew that going to the mediation office would help with that, but I didn't want more people around. I just wanted to get to know him, privately.
"If I said I wanted to see everything, way more than an ankle," I said. "To have you take off the layers and let me see what is really underneath. Would that offend you?"
"No, not offend," he said. "It's just... It's a very intimate request."
"I'm moving too fast," I said, and my excitement deflated. It was the lie that had been driving me forward, the yes, this is perfect, just go for it, and it was leading me astray. I let go of the filament and began to withdraw my hand. "I'm sorry, I just reallylike you, and I got excited about you know, all of it. I didn't mean to push your boundaries."
His filaments began twining with my fingers, lightly tugging on them, not hard enough to stop my hand from pulling out, but just enough to feel like he was trying to hold onto me. I stopped before my hand was fully out, and the filaments tightened around my hand, gripping it in a firm, pleasant way. Every part of me relaxed with the touch, the grip of it soothing me.
"You're not moving too fast. It just takes a lot of trust for what you're asking," he said. "My kind are vulnerable when it comes to showing all of ourselves."
Now I was even more curious.
"Masak," I said. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or pressured. I'm curious about you. I don't even know how your species mates. I don't even know if we'd fit. I mean, I've been assuming you're male because of how your voice sounds, but is your species binary, or are there other things going on I need to learn about? If you're willing to talk to me about it, I'd really love to learn more."
There was a slight tug on my hand, pulling it into the mass of filaments, just a little bit.
"Masak?" I asked.
"I'm male," he replied. "I have a reproductive organ similar enough to your species that produces seed. I am capable of inseminating you."
I shifted up to my knees on the couch so I could lean in towards the wall of filaments.
"Is it one of these?" I asked, inspecting them, to see if I could see the one he wanted to put in me. That was the one I wanted to put in my mouth.
"No, it is attached to my center," he said. "If you want, I am willing to take you to see it, but there would be a condition."
"What condition?" I asked.
"I would need to search you for weapons first," he said. "Though you should know, that is something I would enjoy in a non platonic manner, so although my need for security is legitimate, my eagerness to bring you to my center is highly motivated by the requirement to search you."
