Our gazes meet, so much unsaid.
“My mom’s not wrong about Austen,” she says, shaking her head. “Just most other things.”
“We both have ...” I can’t imagine how Lucy turned out like she did, given her mother. “Things we are letting go of. Things inside we’ve had to shift and change.”
“I think you’re right, Hunter Bain.”
“I pulled away from you, and I’m sorry,” I say. “I was scared. I didn’t think I could have a successful business and ... and you. The woman I love. I didn’t think I deserved it.”
She’s holding the sandwich at her mouth, but doesn’t take a bite. Then she lowers it and sets it back on the paper wrapping. “What was that you said?”
I hold her gaze and swallow. I’ve said it now. There’s no taking it back. “I said I love you. I’ve always loved you. But I understand if you can’t forgive me for pushing you away ...”
I can’t interpret her expression. I’m not sure if she’s about to laugh in my face or jump into my arms.
“Huh,” she says, sitting back in her chair. “Not what I had on my bingo card for today.”
Okay, so maybe she’s not laughingorjumping.
“I get this is a bit . . . unexpected, maybe . . .”
“Why would you think that? The fact that you called me a demonic witch when we first met? Or maybe it’s the part where you dumped me two weeks ago, just as I realized thatIloveyou?”
The metal of my chair scrapes as I shift my seat so I can lean closer to Lucy. “I was a dick. Running scared. Running from failure, from my father, from my future. But I’m done running. I want to live in the present. With you.”
Lucy breaks my gaze and glances down at her lap.
“If you love me, Lucy, and I love you, then ...”
“Then the stakes just got really high,” she says. “You showing up in the plaza with a chicken Caesar on whole grain doesn’t mean we just sail off into the sunset. What happens if something happens and you wantto run again? What happens if business is bad for a year or two? I can’t ... my heart ... I won’t survive it.” She looks up into my eyes with such fragility, such vulnerability, that my heart surges in my chest. I don’t want to be the man causing her pain. I want to be the man who’s making it better. I want to be her shield against the bad things in this world.
“You won’t have to survive it,” I say softly. “I’m never going to run from you.”
“How can you be sure?” She shakes her head like the entire idea is futile and she’s given up already.
But I won’t let her give up.
“I’ll prove it to you.”
“That’s impossible,” she says. “How could you ever prove to me that you’ll never leave me? You got scared and you ran. But times will get tough at some point, and you’ll get scared again. I don’t want to be worried all the time that you’re going to bolt.”
“You’re right. There will be times when things get difficult. But what I’ve learned since we’ve been apart is I don’t want anything more than I want you.”
Her expression is full of hope and tenderness.
“This isn’t a book, Lucy. This is the real world. My entire life changed when you walked into it. I’ve been struggling with the failure of Bain Insurance since it happened. I’ve been willing my dad to take responsibility, to apologize—something. I’ve wanted him to do literally anything to tell me it wasn’t my fault. Guess what?” She searches my face. “It’s never going to happen. I’ve been circling the runway, in a holding pattern, waiting for someone to tell me to land. Meanwhile, I’m running outta fuel. I was five seconds away from blowing things up with Ed. I already blew stuff up with you. And I don’t know if it’s losing something I knew was good—because what we had was so, so good—but I finally realized I would loseeverythinggood in my life if I didn’t make a change within. I looked my dad in the eye, and I told him what I knew. That he gave me a failing business. That he tanked Bain Insurance and left me to take the blame. I told him I don’t want to bethe father he was.” I exhale, sitting back in my chair. “And that’s what it took to change something within me. I’ve broken out of the holding pattern. I’ve landed. I have clarity and I know what I want.” I lift her chin. “‘I have loved none but you.’ From the moment I saw you and forever. There will be no one for me but you.”
She narrows her eyes. “From the moment you saw me? I’m pretty sure that’s not true.”
“You’re wrong. I just didn’t realize it at the beginning. I thought you were a pain in my ass, just like I thought Ed was slacking off. Neither could be further from the truth, but the lens I’d been viewing the world through was muddy. Not anymore.”
She sighs, and I try to think what else I can do to convince her. “There’s no certainty. Life’s about chances,” I say. “What was that thing you said to me about foolish preparation?” I ask.
A smile spreads across her face. “‘How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!’”
“Right. Maybe you don’t need to overthink this.”
Her breath hitches in her chest and she exhales shakily. “We were only a few weeks in and ...”
