"Really? What kind of hug?" Paige's voice rose in volume. "Was it like 'I'm so excited to see you!'? Like he wants to pick up where you guys left off three years ago? Or was it like 'Oh hey, hi. It's good to see you again.'?"
"I think he just meant it as a welcome home hug but..." Riley squeezed her eyes shut and drew in a steadying breath.
"But what?"
"I totally freaked out." Her breathing came a little faster as she told Paige how she'd frozen when Daniel touched her and how she'd wanted to scream but couldn't.
"Oh Ri, I'm so sorry." Paige's voice was gentle again. "I'd hoped getting away from Seattle and that scumbag would help you be able to distance yourself from what happened. But I guess it's not that easy."
“No, it’s not that easy.”
A part of her feared if she got too close to Daniel, he would hurt her in some way. The other part feared he would find out what she didn't want anyone to know and judge her for it. Nor did she want him to think less of her or pity her.
Daniel would think her rude, but it was probably best she avoided getting close to him.
"Hopefully, some time on the ranch will help you heal a little and decide what your next step will be."
Heal? Next step?
Riley hadn't suffered near the anguish most rape victims did thanks to Paige's timely arrival, but she'd been traumatized in a way that she didn't know how to handle. And would she ever be able to go back to Seattle?
"It might be good to talk to Emily while you're there." Paige's voice was soft and encouraging now. "Maybe she can help you."
Even though Emily was a nice person, having a psychologist for a sister-in-law was weird. Riley always felt like Emily analyzed everything she said and did. In fact, she probably thought Riley was really messed up for her outburst at dinner tonight, and she'd be right.
So many emotions flowed through her that she didn't know how to suppress or express. Anger and fear, desperation, and anxiety.
"I don't think I can...yet."
"That's understandable, but remember they are your family, and they love you."
Poor Jake. She shouldn't have lashed out at him like that.
"I'm worried about you." Riley changed the subject as she sat on the bed again. "I'm afraid my leaving might make you a target."
"Don't worry about me. I moved everything I need into Jen and Shaylee's apartment this afternoon. Besides, I spend most of my time with Phillip nowadays anyway."
Phillip seemed smitten with Paige, but there was something about him that bothered Riley. She couldn't put her finger on what it was though, so she'd kept her mouth shut.
A soft knock sounded on Riley's bedroom door.
"Can I come in, Ri?" Jake called.
"Hey, I need to go, Paige. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Okay, bye. Love you."
"Come in," Riley said as she ended the call.
She couldn't bring herself to meet Jake's eyes, so she stared at the floor. She owed him an apology, but not only was she as prideful as her brothers, she didn't want to have to explain why she blew up at him.
Jake shuffled his feet then cleared his throat. "Lottie wanted to make sure you got some of the apple crisp she made to welcome you home."
Riley looked at him. He held a plate of not only a generous serving of apple crisp but also a heaping scoop of vanilla ice cream. A smile lifted her lips. "Let me guess, you're the one who served the ice cream."
Finally, she’d found something that would never change.
All the Winters enjoyed ice cream, but Jake loved it more than the rest of them combined.
