"Can you tell?" He smiled then cleared his throat again. "I thought it might help you forgive me. I'm sorry I got all critical of you andyour life choices. You're welcome here anytime and for as long as you want. I hope you know that."
"Thanks." Riley accepted the plate but lowered her gaze again. "I'm sorry I got huffy with you too. I just have some...things I need to...work through right now, and I get...defensive sometimes, I guess."
"Well, you take your time." He stepped toward the door. "Remember we're here if you want to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you."
Talking was the last thing Riley wanted to do. She wanted to go for a run—although she'd fallen out of that habit years ago—or hit something. She wanted to scream and yell and throw things. But she didn't want to talk.
"Thanks," she said before Jake closed the door.
She needed to get out of this house and go for a ride on Misty. A fast one. But no way would she let Lottie's apple crisp and Jake's peace offering go to waste.
CHAPTER 3
The house was dark when Riley returned from her ride. Exhausted, she took a quick shower and fell into bed.
Sleep came quickly, but so did the nightmares. Vivid dreams of Collin's face sneering at her. The evil intent in his eyes. His crude words. His hot breath on her face. And then always came his mouth followed by his rough hands fondling her and ripping her shirt. His body pinning her down as he continued to assault her.
Riley shot upright in bed, gasping for air. Her unfamiliar surroundings only accelerated her heart rate even more, and a sharp pain filled her chest. Her whole body shook uncontrollably as she broke out in a cold sweat.
It's fine. I'm fine.
She gradually recognized her surroundings as she tried to convince herself she wasn't in danger, but a total recall of everything that happened with Collin continued to flood her mind. Her chest grew so tight she struggled to breathe. Hot bile filled her mouth, and she threw back the covers and raced to the bathroom.
Tears streamed down her face as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. When the retching finally subsided, sheturned on the shower as hot as it would go and stripped off her clothes again with shaky hands.
All the scalding-hot showers she'd taken over the past week, where she'd scrubbed her body until she was chafed and raw, hadn't been able to erase the feel of Collin’s hands on her body. She should have known this shower wouldn't help either.
Still feeling desperate and agitated, she dressed and walked out of the bathroom. She stopped short when Emily walked out of little Adam's room at the same moment.
Emily's brows furrowed and concern filled her face. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Riley wrapped her arms around herself and pushed past her sister-in-law to get to her room. Once inside, she couldn't bring herself to go back to bed. The nightmares would only return, setting off her PTSD.
Or is it my PTSD causing the nightmares?
After pacing for a few minutes, she changed into jeans and a sweatshirt, picked up her boots, and tiptoed out the back door. She sat on the top step of the deck and pulled her boots on, wishing she'd changed into running clothes and brought her sneakers out instead.
It's too dark. I can’t run alone.
With nowhere to go and nothing to do, she walked to the stables. She contemplated taking a different horse out for another ride, but it was too dark tonight. She'd only put the horse and herself in danger. Besides, she was saddle-sore from her earlier ride.
She let herself into the stables through the small side door and flipped on the single light. No point in disturbing the horses just because she couldn't sleep. She wandered deeper into the massive stables to the storage room at the far end where she flipped on another light.
She'd heard music playing and caught a glimpse of Daniel in here earlier when she took Misty out for a ride. She'd contemplated inviting him to join her, but decided she wasn't in the mood to make conversation. The last thing she wanted was him questioning her again about why she chose to come home for the summer.
The small room that used to be filled with miscellaneous tools and odd junk while she was growing up had been cleaned out and turned into a weight room by Jake and Daniel a couple years ago. Riley had never understood why the two of them felt driven to revert to their teenage fascination with body building, but now she understood why Daniel was so ripped.
The small room was well stocked with a bench press, a rack of weights plus a wide assortment of dumbbells of varying sizes and weights. A punching bag hung from the rafters near the corner.
Just what I need.
She searched the room until she found boxing gloves on a shelf. Pulling the door closed, so she wouldn't disturb the horses too much, she pulled on the gloves. Their bulkiness felt strange on her hands, but she didn't care. She had no idea what she was doing, but she turned to the punching bag and pictured Collin Ainsworth's face.
Daniel shot up in bed,gasping for air. Groaning, he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to rid his mind of the images that invaded his dreams.
Vivid images of a young blond-haired boy on his bike, darting into the road in front of Daniel's truck. His inability to stop in time.
The boy's still body.
