That’s what she intended to do, but she wasn’t sure how, or even if, that applied to Robert. He might feel bad for the way things turned out for her, but it didn’t mean he could get over the hurt she’d caused him and ever consider moving forward with her. If Robert learned from his mistakes, it meant he’d never trust her with his heart again.
“We’d better head back or it’ll be pitch black before we get home.” He stood and reached out a hand to pull her up.
Without thinking, Jessie placed her hand in his. Electricity raced up her arm at his touch, as strong as ever. As soon as she was on her feet, she pulled her hand away, and he released it without hesitation.
The walk back to the ranch house passed quickly and quietly. They kept a fast pace, the darkness closing in with each step. As soon as they reached the yard, Robert bee-lined for his truck.
Jessie followed, planning on saying good night and going into the house.
Robert turned to her before opening his truck door. “I don’t know when or if Patrick will make another move. Even though it has been quiet, I doubt he’s backed off for good.”
“He hasn’t.” Of that, Jessie was certain.
“I’d like you to stay at the ranch for a while longer. Overall, I think it’s safer here.” He opened the driver’s door, leaned in, and pulled out a small bag. He held it out to her. “I thought this might give you a little freedom to come and go on your own, though.”
She pulled a cell phone from the bag.
“I’ve pre-programmed it with your mom’s number and mine as well as most of my family.”
“I can’t take this, Robert.” She pushed the phone and bag in his direction. “You’ve done too much for me.”
He stepped back. “No, I didn’t do enough.” He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “I should have talked to you that night in New York. I was a coward. As soon as I saw you, I knew you belonged there, and I’d never measure up to your glamorous lifestyle. I couldn’t bear your rejection again.” He shook his head as if ridding it of an unpleasant thought, then gave a rueful laugh. “You’re right. We need to let go of the past. We could‘what if’and‘should have’ourselves to death, but it won’t change anything.” He leaned back against his truck and folded his arms over his chest.
He looked out toward the distant hills, hidden in the darkness. Tension filled his voice when he spoke again. “I want to keep you safe, Jess, but I can’t be here all the time.”
The words she heard didn’t match his tone. His posture, the lack of eye contact, and the tension in his voice told her what he really meant was,I can’t stand to be here all the time.
Robert continued talking, explaining the features of the phone. Much of what he said didn’t register, but she didn’t care. She just wanted him to leave already.
“Keep location sharing turned on, so if something happens to you, I’ll know where to find you.”
Jessie’s body tensed as heat flared in her.
Robert was as bad as Patrick—wanting to control her actions when he wasn’t around. He’d pulled her painting out of the trash, telling her she should finish it. Then he gave her money and insisted she get her hair done. He didn’t dictate how she should have it done, but he’d been the driving force behind that change. And now he wanted to track her location with a cell phone he provided?
He must have sensed her tension, because he held up both hands, palms outward in a pacifying motion. “Jessie, I know how controlling Patrick was. Please believe me when I say that’s not what I’m trying to do. I just worry something will happen to you when I’m not around and I won’t know where to find you.”
She hung her head at the sincerity in his voice. She’d overreacted. Robert was nothing like Patrick. Jessie knew that, but she obviously still had trust issues. She’d have to talk to Emily about that.
Swallowing her pride, she nodded. “I accept the phone and I won’t turn off location sharing. Thank you.”
She let herself into the house a few minutes later, after Robert drove away, to find the great room empty. Jessie locked the front door and went through her bedtime routine. She climbed into bed, trying to still her mind from the evening’s turmoil.
I came to New York, you know.Robert’s words filled her head as pain filled her heart. He was right. She could “what if”and “should have”herself to death, and it wouldn’t change anything. But oh, how she wished things were different.
I loved you, Jess, like I’ve never loved another woman.Did that mean he still loved her, like she did him?
Maybe, but Robert had pride, and he’d never open himself up to heartache again. Just like Jessie didn’t know if she’d ever fully trust a man again.
She rolled onto her side and hugged the extra pillow close, powerless to stop the tears she’d been fighting all night.
Stupid hormones.
Chapter 26
Jessie looked up from her sketch pad when unfamiliar footfalls sounded on the back deck.
Jake and Zane were the only ones who used the back door during the afternoon, but their boots made a much heavier sound than the quiet tapping of the high heels the woman who now approached wore.
