They continued to walk in silence for the next ten minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. When they reached the top of the ridge, they sat on a large boulder and faced the setting sun.
Jessie let out a sigh as golden rays arced upward, piercing the clouds. “I had forgotten how beautiful the sunsets were out here.”
“Hmm?” Robert’s voice sounded like his mind was far away. “Oh yeah, we definitely get our share of amazing sunsets.”
They lapsed into silence again. Jessie resisted the urge to chew on her nails as she watched Robert roll a small rock around with the heel of his boot.
If he wanted to talk about what was on his mind, he would. And if he didn’t, no amount of inane conversation would get him to share his thoughts.
She didn’t have to wait long for him to speak, but the words that came out were the last thing she expected to hear.
“I came to New York, you know.”
Jessie’s heart stalled.
“What did you say?” Jessie asked, certain she hadn’t heard him correctly.
“I came to New York.”
“When?” An odd sensation rippled through her—a combination of loss and regret, coupled with hope.
“About six months after you left.” When she gave him a confused look, he continued. “I promised myself I’d ask you one time to come home with me... If you refused, I had decided I would move to New York, so we could be together.”
Tears again filled her eyes. Robert had been willing to leave his family and the small town he loved to be with her in New York?
“But I never—”
“I chickened out. The night I showed up at the MET there was a big fundraiser gala thing going on. Obviously, I didn’t have an invitation, but I bribed a guard to let me in.” He scratched his jaw. “And I may have promised to make a large donation.”
Jessie’s mind raced back to the night of the benefit gala for the children’s hospital six months after she’d arrived in New York. Not only had she been the principal organizer, the chief curator of the museum had also insisted on showcasing some of Jessie’s work. It was the happiest night of her life since arriving in New York. Had she known Robert was there, it would have been the best night ever.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were there?”
“I saw your work that night and recognized your style even before I saw your name posted nearby. Those pieces were truly magnificent, Jess, and you were so beautiful in your red evening gown. You had finally realized your dream, and I knew I couldn’t ask you to walk away from that. And with each minute I spent in that city, I realized I didn’t belong there. My wranglers and blazer could never compete with all those tuxedos and evening gowns. And everywhere I looked there were so many people.”
Jessie remembered feeling claustrophobic when she first arrived in New York. She missed the wide-open spaces of home, and even though she’d been surrounded by millions of people, she’d never felt so alone.
She couldn’t get over the fact that Robert had stood in the MET close enough to see her and she’d never known he was there.
“I wish you had come and talked to me.”
“It would have made things harder. I could see you weren’t ready to leave New York, and, despite my promise to myself, I didn’t think I could stand to stay.”
It must have killed Robert to break a promise—to himself, of all people. “You’re right, I wasn’t ready to leave, but I would have loved knowing you cared enough to come after me.”
“Of course, I cared. I loved you, Jess, like I’ve never loved another woman.”
His words should have filled her with hope, but instead heat filled Jessie’s chest. “You were sure quick to send me on my way when I told you about the internship.”
Robert sprang to his feet. “What was I supposed to do? You chose New York over me. Besides, you sure didn’t take long to get over me. I mean, you’d barely been there a year before you got engaged.”
Jessie nodded her head, her eyes burning with unshed tears. “You’re right. I did.” She’d taken a broken heart to New York. Torn completely in two—her love for Robert warring with her dreams. She knew she’d never love like that again, so she didn’t even try. She figured affection for an attractive man was the best she could hope for. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “And I’ve regretted it ever since. The night of the gala... That was the night I met Patrick.”
Robert turned and looked at her, his gaze pinning her. As his brown eyes held hers, she could practically see the wheels turning in his mind. Was he coming to the same conclusions as she had? If he’d only talked to her that night... It might not have changed things between them, but she was certain she wouldn’t have welcomed the attention of a stranger if the love of her life stood beside her.
Robert dropped back down onto the boulder beside her. He braced his elbows on his knees and laced his fingers together, keeping his eyes glued to the ground between his boots. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
She watched the fading rays of the sun shrink toward the horizon, wishing she could bring back its warmth and light. “It’s not your fault. We can’t change the past, so we need to let it go.” She wanted to add and learn from our mistakes,but didn’t.
