No, the turmoil that ate at him was personal. Am I still angry with her for leaving? Or myself for letting her?
It killed him to admit that after all these years, the answer was both.
“I know I hurt you.” She didn’t make eye contact as she said the words.
A part of Robert wanted to lash out at her, telling her how badly she’d crushed him, but Jessie had suffered enough.
He stared out the window as he made his own admission. “And I imagine I hurt you by letting you go.”
She dipped her head. “But I’m the one who left. I really am sor—”
Robert raised a hand, cutting her off. “You’ve already apologized. There’s no reason to dwell on it. Besides, apologies won’t change anything at this point.” He shook his head. “We’ve both made mistakes and we both have regrets, but we can’t play the blame game.”
Jessie lowered her gaze again. “We don’t need to play the blame game,” she said. “It’s my fault. The pain I caused you when I left...everything I’ve suffered since.”
Robert wanted to assure her she was wrong, but he couldn’t get the words out. “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”
Jessie’s gaze jumped back to meet his.
“The Jessie I knew would never apologize for following her dreams and should know I wouldn’t expect her to.”
She blinked rapidly as she stared out the window again. The silence stretched.
Finally, she cleared her throat. “I heard about your father... I’m sorry for your loss, Robert. I wanted to call and express my condolences, but...”
“But what?”
“I figured I was the last person you wanted to hear from.”
He would have loved hearing from her, but she was married by the time his dad passed away. It would have been a painful reminder that he’d lost more than his father.
“Besides, Patrick...”
Robert kept his gaze on her face, waiting for her to look at him again. When she finally did, he asked, “Patrick what?”
“Never mind.” Jessie wrapped her arms around herself and shrunk back in her seat.
The more Robert learned about Jessie’s husband, the more he loathed him. The man didn’t deserve Jessie.
Chapter 5
Robert propped another short log on the chopping block. Picking up the ax, he threw it down into the log. With each chop, he wondered what Jessie had endured.
He swiped the sweat from his brow and surveyed the pile of split logs. It was more than enough to last Jessie a few days, especially since the cabin had a furnace fueled by propane if she needed it. They rarely used the furnace throughout the summer months, but it still got chilly in the mornings and evenings this close to the lake.
Everywhere he looked, memories of Jessie pushed to the surface. On the dock, where he’d taught her to fish. In the lake, where they’d canoed and swam. In the tree house, where they’d hidden away and made out until his little sister and cousin interrupted them.
Robert loaded his arms with split logs and marched into the cabin. After filling the woodbox, he caught himself staring at the couch where he’d held Jessie in his arms as they discussed their future together. His insides churned as he remembered how he’d planned to propose to her here on that fateful night five years ago. But Jessie had crushed him before he had the chance.
He strode back out the door, not stopping until he reached the lake.Why did I think bringing Jessie here was a good idea?
Yes, it was safer than letting her stay at her mom’s, where Patrick was sure to find her. Safer, maybe, but not easier.
Not for him, anyway.
Did Jessie remember the times they spent here together? Did they mean anything to her, like they still did to him?
He picked up a flat rock and threw it with practiced precision. It skipped across the lake, each bounce rippling out in broad circles before dropping beneath the surface.
