A brief silence stretched between them and Emily pictured Joe stroking his goatee as he pondered what to say.
“Em, I can’t see your face, so I don’t know what you’re thinking. I need you to talk me. Tell me what you’re feeling, what you need from me.”
“I need you to tell me I shouldn’t be attracted to Jake while I’m grieving Cameron.”
“Jake? Is he the rancher whose house you’re staying at?”
“Yes. He’s the most compassionate man I’ve ever met.”
“You’re grieving. Compassion is a good thing right now.”
“I know, but the man has mastered the art of compassion, and I swear he’s not even trying.”
Joe’s voice took on a wary note. “What kind of compassion is he showing?”
He probably thought Jake was trying to seduce her while she was vulnerable.
“Nothing like that,” she assured, but then she thought about the things Jakehaddone.
Few people would see brushing her hair and taking her for a carriage ride as seduction, but they had made her intensely aware of him and strengthened her attraction to him.
“So, you’re attracted to Jake because of his compassion?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She let out a frustrated sigh. “It’s not solely his compassion. It’s everything. He’s handsome and strong... and I feel safe with him.” She moaned. “I can’t do this again, Joe.”
“Emily, you lost your brother, and your father not long ago. You’re hurting, and your life is in danger. It’s okay to seek safety and security. Attraction to the person providing that is common. It will undoubtedly bring a level of bonding.”
“I know.” Emily’s voice dropped as guilt flooded her. “And I know such bonding won’t be enough if I later realize I don’t feel that same level of attraction anymore.”
Joe let out a sigh. “You need to be careful. You know when you’re hurting you don’t think clearly enough to make the right decisions.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she said with a groan.
Chapter 23
Jake yawned and stretched, rubbing his dry eyes. He’d forced himself to spend the evening working on the paperwork for the solar project, again. Unfortunately, progress had been slow because it had taken him forever to focus on the task at hand.
He was about ready to pay Ben or someone to get this darn paperwork finished. The one thing he hated worse than paperwork was having to do it when his mind was elsewhere.
Tonight, his mind was on Emily, as it had been every night since she arrived at the ranch. She’d hardly looked at him during dinner and had avoided him after dinner, so he had come to his office.
He couldn’t figure out what had happened this afternoon. One minute she was sharing stories of her childhood and letting him comfort her, and the next she was pulling away. Had his admission of wanting to take her on a romantic carriage ride scared her?
His heart had hurt for her ever since he found out her brother was dead. Why did such a beautiful woman have to suffer such loss? Such pain? He knew God had a plan for each of his children, and he trusted in that. At least he tried to.
Why did His plan for Emily have to be so difficult?
He yawned again and debated going for another ride since it was still a full moon. But he rode for a long time last night and didn’t get much sleep. He should go to bed. He was tired enough, he’d probably crash, if he could get his mind off Emily.
Shutting down his computer, he picked up the boots he’d pulled off earlier. After double checking the ranch hand on guard duty was by the front gate in one of the ranch’s trucks, he locked up and headed down the hall. Halfway to his room, a noise stopped him in his tracks.
It came from Emily’s room. She was crying. Hard. The sobs coming from the other side of the door reminded him of how Riley had wept when their father died. A vice squeezed Jake’s heart, and his throat constricted.
He hesitated with his hand on her doorknob and glanced at his mother’s closed door. Should he wake her? He wasn’t exactly comfortable entering a woman’s room in the middle of the night.
But Emily needed him.
Setting his boots down, he opened her door, slowly so as not to alarm her. With the help of the moonlight streaming through the open curtains, he spotted her laying with her back to him. Another sob wracked her body.
