No way. She’d put her foot in her mouth plenty of times where Ben was concerned, but she wouldn’t touch this with a ten-foot pole.
Her thoughts turned to Ben and his daughter as they had a thousand time since she saw the picture on his desk yesterday.
She kept asking herself if it was possible that she’d seen the person who kidnapped Cassey? Her heart raced again at the thought.
Surely, more than one blue eyed baby with a pink snowsuit lived in the Portland area. But the little girl’s eyes had been so like Ben’s. If she could remember the deep blue eyes, why was it so difficult to remember where she had seen the infant? She couldn’t make the image fit with the restaurant or any of the other places she went regularly before moving to Providence.
The discussion continued around her, and Amy pulled her mind back.
“We should advertise the auction on the posters and fliers, that way women can come prepared.”
Women volunteered to talk to various bachelors to see if they would agree to be auctioned off. When it came to Robert’s and Jake’s names, no one volunteered because everyone knew Debbie would be the high bidder there. And no one wanted to have to talk them into going out with her.
Amy turned to Faith. “Do you think...”
“Oh, leave me out of this, dear.” Faith raised her hands in surrender. “A mother knows there are times when you simply don’t butt into your children’s lives.”
Charity smiled at Amy. “It was your idea. Maybe you should talk to the two of them.”
Amy nodded, swallowing hard. “I’ll do it.”
A knot formed in her stomach.What have I gotten myself into?
* * *
“Amy,it’s good to see you,” Naomi said.
Amy took a deep breath and returned Naomi’s smile. She’d barely stepped into the church, and already she feared her breakfast might come up. She’d finally accepted the Young’s invitation. Thinking she’d like to attend church and actually going were two very different things.
What if she said or did something wrong? Something that let everyone know she’d never been to church before. Would people judge her for showing up to church with an illegitimate child?
Another woman whose name she didn’t recall greeted her, followed by Robert and Jake. Before long, she found herself surrounded by friendly faces.
Maybe this won’t be so bad.
The message about having charity set Amy at ease and made her want to do more to help others around her. She’d expected to feel guilty for the way she’d lived her life in the past, but she didn’t feel like anyone judged or condemned her. In fact, she couldn’t have felt more welcome. From now on, she planned to make church attendance a part of her life.
That evening, Amy grinned as she tied on one of Hope’s aprons. Friday, after getting paid, she’d tried to pay the Youngs for room and board, but like Ben and Faith, they’d refused. Amy had anticipated that, so she’d insisted on buying groceries and doing the cooking. To her relief, Hope had agreed. Knowing Ben would be coming for dinner created a flutter in her stomach.
“This is delicious,” James said, after sampling the sirloin stroganoff Amy made. “I thought you waited tables in a bar. How did you learn to cook so well?”
“I’ve always enjoyed cooking, even when I was young. But I learned a lot from occasionally helping in the kitchen at the restaurant.” Once she’d figured out the recipes, she’d tweaked them, making them even better. Of course, she never dared admit as much to Charlie. “As the day manager, I spent most of my shift in the restaurant. That changed when Dennis moved me to nights.” Amy couldn’t hide her distaste for the bar and for her former boss.
“Did you have to deal with a lot of unwanted advances from drunk men in the bar?” Hope asked.
Amy shrugged. “I got them all the time, but they didn’t bother me. I knew it was the alcohol talking. And I was rarely alone, so I never felt threatened. It was the ones who were sober and not in a public place that I had to worry about.”
Instantly, she regretted speaking so freely. Instinctively, she propped both elbows on the table and put her hands on either side of her neck, as she fought unwanted memories, both from her childhood and her more recent experiences with Dennis.
A flash of guilt crossed Ben’s face, then his eyes narrowed as he studied her. She forced herself to lower her arms and look away from his probing stare.
After dinner, Hope insisted on doing the dishes since Amy cooked, and James stayed in the kitchen to help.
Amy left the kitchen amid compliments for the meal and found herself in the family room with Ben and Kallie. Warmth stole over Amy as she remembered the kiss they shared a few days ago.
Blocking it from her mind, she sat on the floor to play with her daughter, where she coaxed Kallie to roll a ball to her. The toddler smiled every time Amy rolled it back.
Ben sat across the room, his usual handsome, brooding self, and Amy wracked her brain for something to talk about. “I went to church with your parents today.”
