He tried to follow her logic. “If I continued working as a mechanic, would you go out with me?”
Amy dropped her eyes and fiddled with the hem of her blouse.
Why was she so reluctant? Was the attraction between them all one-sided? His voice was tinged with anger when he spoke again. “So, it’s okay for a waitress to go out with the well-to-do sheriff or a wealthy rancher, but not a lawyer?”
Her eyes jumped up to meet his. “I only went out with them so they would agree to the auction, you know that.”
Ben bit his tongue to keep from volunteering for the auction so Amy would agree to go out with him. The last thing he needed was Debbie winning.
“But you go to lunch every Friday with Robert.”
“That’s not...”
“Not what? A date? I can assure you Robert considers it a date.”
Amy’s eyes widened.
Hope surged in Ben’s chest, and his eyes narrowed on Amy. “I hope your surprise means you don’t consider Robert and yourself a couple.”
“What? No. We’re just friends.” A blush belied Amy’s words.
The same kind of blush he saw on her face multiple times last Saturday. Amy was attracted to Robert. Ben’s stomach tightened.
“Listen, Ben, I’ve made some bad choices and haven’t lived the kind of life most people of your social standing would approve of.”
What was she saying? He stared into Amy’s eyes, trying to understand the real source of her reluctance.
“Have you ever been a prostitute or a stripper?”
Amy gasped. “No!”
Ben couldn’t hide the relief he felt at her response. “Then there’s nothing you could say to make me change my mind about wanting to go out with you. Have I ever done or said anything to make you feel you aren’t good enough because you were raised differently or grew up poor?”
“No, you and your parents have been very accepting of me, despite my background.”
“Does social status matter that much to you? Have you always been this insecure about your upbringing and lack of wealth?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve always been aware there were people much better off than me. But instead of letting it get me down, I’ve usually tried to make the best of my circumstances. I’ve always worked hard to improve my situation, but after my experience with Lance... The more popular his band became, the less he wanted to do with me. Sometimes, I feel like I can’t rise above my upbringing.”
“Well, Lance is a ja—” He cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder toward the kitchen. “A jerk. I can think of a more appropriate word, but like you said, my parents raised me with religion and would wash my mouth out with soap if they heard me use it.”
Amy laughed. “You’re right, Lanceisa jerk!”
“Glad we agree on that.” Raking his fingers through his hair, he took a deep breath. “I didn’t think this was going to be so hard. If you don’t want to go out with me, you can say so.”
* * *
A lump formedin Amy’s throat as she considered how difficult it must be for Ben to open up like this and put himself out there again.
“I do want to go out with you.”
It scared her how badly she wanted to go out with Ben, and that was the problem. She couldn’t fall for the first man to come along. And she was definitely falling. The more time she spent with him, the deeper she fell.
Ben may find her attractive, but when he really got to know her, he’d find she wasn’t lovable. Like Lance did. And like her mother.
When she left Lance, she vowed never to get mixed up with a man again. Especially not a man who couldn’t fully commit to her. She couldn’t endure the heartache of betrayal again, and she had to protect her daughter. She couldn’t control the men she dated. She could hardly control herself. That’s why she needed to avoid dating altogether.
She dropped her eyes. “But I can’t.”
