“I am, of course,” Charlotte takes a dramatic bow. “For not showing any interest in female genitalia.”
“Well, you’re not making it sound very sexy,” Riley mumbles. Lou takes the two women in before clocking what is going on.
“Down, boy,” she says to Riley, making anI’m watching you-gesture with two fingers. “Charlotte’s not on our team.” A beat. “But I’m glad the two of you are getting along.”
“Oh, yeah, basically besties,” Charlotte drawls, a fake smile on her face.
“When the two of you are done being children, I think it’s time for the speeches,” Gabi says. The color promptly drains from Charlotte’s face. The goddamn fucking speeches.
“We’ll do an opener,” Gabi explains, as she and her fiancée share a mysterious look. “And then we’ll call you on stage. Who wants to go first?”
Charlotte feigns a sudden fascination in the edge of the table cloth. She can feel Riley’s eyes on her. “You’re giving a speech too?” Riley muses, and Charlotte wonders if it would be too dramatic of an exit to pull the fire alarm and jump through the nearest window.
“Actually…” Charlotte sighs. “I would’ve loved to, Gabi, and you know it. But I can’t possibly make a speech with wine stains all over my shoes.”
And besides, she all but chugged that last glass of wine, so public speaking is not at the top of the list of smart things to do right now.
“You’re just being a bitch, it’s a red wine stain on black shoes,” Gabi says. “For that, you should go first. Barefoot if you must.” And before Charlotte can protest, Gabi and Lou wander off toward the stage.
Charlotte looks at Riley, ready to berate her for not stepping in to help, but Riley is hiding a knowing grin behind her glass.
“I can’t wait to see this.”
As soon as Gabi and Lou climb the small stage, the music quietens and one of the venue’s techs hands Gabi a microphone. The soft murmuring of the guests dies down when she begins to talk.
“Welcome everybody! Dear friends, family, acquaintances… My lovely fiancée and I are honored to have you all here, celebrating our engagement.”
The guests applaud as Gabi gives Lou a peck on the lips, pulling her in by the waist. A few of the guests start cheering, among them Riley—which causes Charlotte to dramatically cover the ear that is closest to her. Riley pouts, then whistles on her fingers, and Charlotte gets distracted by a very vivid fantasy about squeezing the other woman’s windpipe until her eyes pop out.
On stage, Lou takes over the mic.
“We hope you’re all enjoying the food and music, but we’d like to interrupt for just a moment. Charlotte and Riley, would you please join us up here?”
Charlotte prays for an interruption—anything will do—but nothing happens. The two women exchange a look, and Charlotte senses Riley isn’t particularly happy about being asked on stage either. Good.
They quickly scramble out of the booth, taking their wine glasses with them. The guests politely applaud once more while they walk to the front. Once they reach the stage, Riley takes her place on Lou’s side, and Charlotte goes to stand next to Gabi, where she nervously picks some non-existent lint off her slacks.
Lou holds the mic in between herself and Gabi, so the both of them can speak.
“So Charlotte, Riley… as you know, we asked you to prepare a few words for tonight,” Lou says, looking from one to the other. Riley nervously shuffles her feetas Charlotte squints into the stage lights. She hasn’t forgotten, she just prefers… improvising.
“Now, that wasn’t just to torture you,” Gabi smirks. “It’s also to prepare you for the big day! Special announcement, drumroll please… Charlotte; I’d like you to be my maid of honor.”
Gabi looks at her as if she has just promised her a million dollars, clearly expecting some kind of response. But Charlotte’s breath hitches and she stays awkwardly silent, so Lou quickly adds: “Riley, I’d love for you to be my best man! Or... woman. Person. Maid of honor. Pick one. Or all of the above.”
The guests laugh and start cheering as Charlotte and Riley find each other’s gaze. Charlotte squints, ‘did you know about this?’,but Riley seems just as surprised.
The engaged couple reels their respective friend in by wrapping an arm around their shoulder, pulling them closer.
“This obviously means you have your work cut out for the both of you,” Gabi announces into the mic.
“I hate you,” Charlotte says through a big fake smile.
“Lou and I are convinced you’ll get along just fine and we’re putting all of our faith in you.”
“Does that mean we don’t actually have to do our speeches?” Charlotte whispers, failing miserably to hide the hopeful tone in her voice.
“Of course you still have to do your speeches!” Gabi repeats loudly, much to Charlotte’s disdain. “Who’s first?”
