I grit my teeth. “You should go to the party. You've just graduated, you should celebrate with your friends.”
“I’m not going, I'd rather stay in with you.”
“Brad, there will be plenty of time to stay in once the baby is here. And less time to spend with your mates.”
“Hey, do you give blowjob lessons? Because you must suck like a hoover if Brad’s considering staying in with you instead,” Scouse Barbie – Bianca – snickers with her plastic pals.
“Fucking shut up, Bianca!” Bianca has the audacity to look affronted at Trey’s reprimanding, flicking her hair over her shoulder with a huff.
“Brad. You should go, have fun with your friends. Seriously, I'll be fine.”
“I’ll only go if you're coming with me.”
“What? She's not invited! No OAPs allowed, it’s probably past her bedtime, anyway.”
“Fiona, what the fuck is wrong with all of you today? Don't be such nasty ass bitches or you won't be invited,” Trey interjects once again.
Fiona – plastic clone number three – grumbles under her breath, chastised for the moment.
“As much as it pains me to say it, Desperate Barbie isn't exactly wrong. I'm pregnant, so I absolutely won't be drinking. And I think a house full of drunken twenty-somethings will be...a lot to take when I'm sober and tired and sick and older than everyone,” I lament.
“Then I'm not going, Shari. It's as simple as that.”
“Fuckin’ hell, when did you become such a mug? Can't you see she's manipulating you, Brad?” Oh, Bianca, time to grow up.
Brad’s entire frame is tense, his jaw, his shoulders, his posture in general. It’s easy to see that he hates the way the Triple B’s are treating me, but he’s taking my cue and ignoring them.
However, if I stay any longer to listen to this bullshit, I'll be lucky not to be arrested for the bodily harm I'm on the edge of inflicting on these fucking awful girls. “You know what? I think I might just go home. This whole atmosphere is just...not what I need right now, and I'm not really feeling up to having lunch with your family while I feel like this.”
“Blaze, no!” He uses his grip on my hands to pull me closer to him, “Please, love, come on, we'll leave these idiots and go have lunch with my family right now. Please? And then I'll take you home myself. Please, please, please don't leave, I want to celebrate with you.”
Hormones fill my eyes – as is my new norm – and I see Brad's determination wash over his beautiful features.
“I’m taking my woman to lunch with my family, and then I'm taking her home. Where I will stay too. You all have fun at the party,” he calls over his shoulder without breaking eye contact with me. My heart swells at him calling me his woman in front of his friends and these catty bitches, and it really needs to stop doing that.Or I'll never be able to let him go.
14
DROOPY MCMENOPAUSE
SHARI
10th September2023
“I have arrived,so put your little worm away, Dennis!” I shout as I let myself into Max’s house with Pickles in tow.
“Hey, cradle snatcher,” Dennis appears in the hallway and gives me a quick hug before diverting his attention to my dog. “Max is in the garden with the boys. Would you like a drink?”
“Diet Coke, please, Dennis.”
“Well, you know where it is, get it yourself. Do I look like a servant?” he jests.
“I mean…do you really want me to answer that?” I ask as I walk towards the fridge.
He shoos me away before I open the door, “Go outside, you pain in the arse. I’ll bring it out to you.”
“Yourfaceis a pain in the arse!”
To an outsider, it might look like Dennis and I don’t get along with the way we constantly poke at each other, but this is how our friendship works.
