Jaime slides the wine closer to me, and without thinking I pick it up and take a fortifying sip, only to realise at the last second that I shouldn't be drinking and spit it back out into the glass.
“Eww, don't regurgitate your wine. Why are you wasting wine?” Jaime's seriousness makes a hysterical laugh bubble up, and I. Cannot. Stop. Tears are streaming, my sides hurt, and my friends are looking at each other with varying degrees of worry in their eyes.
I finally manage to calm down long enough to blurt, “I’m pregnant! Surprise!” and dissolve into giggles again.
“What??”
“Oh my god, are you serious?”
“Babe! This is huge!”
“That’s whatshesaid!”
I'm too far gone to even know who shouted what at this point, but soon my laughter gives way to real tears and I'm immediately enshrouded in a cocoon of arms and love.
Eventually, they all pull back and give me a minute to collect myself before demanding answers.
A mug of tea is put in front of me with a slice of red velvet cake – homemade by Elle, if I had to guess – and I don't think I've ever loved these women as much as I do right in this moment. They just get me.
“So,” I sniffle, tracing a copper vein in the black marble worktop with the tip of my pointer finger, “remember Brad?”
“Brad. Brad. Brad, Brad – oh! The bartender from the festival?” Max asks with a click of her fingers.
“That's the one.” Again, my words get stuck and I stare helplessly at that copper vein as if it will magically solve all my problems.
“You're having Brad's baby?” Elle tries to coax gently, but I can see they're all struggling not to bombard me with questions.
I blow out a breath and decide to just rip off the plaster. “We didn't use a condom because alcohol induced lack of judgement, and I never thought in a million years I'd get pregnant. I promised to hunt him down if he gave me an STD, but...I never could have anticipated this. You know how long and how hard Kristian and I tried for a baby. I thought I was going through perimenopause, for god's sake! I didn't think I had many eggs left, if any at all, and just...how?”
“Well, you fucked a guy without a condom, that's how,” Jaime helpfully points out.
I look up at their reserved expressions, and finally Elle breaks the silence. “You must have conflicting emotions right now but, are you happy? Is this good news?”
“I don't know how I feel,” I croak.Do I?
“Well, how would you feel if the doctor told you tomorrow that it was a false positive? Wait, have you been to a doctor yet?”
It hits me like a tonne of bricks. Devastated. I'd bedevastatedif I found out I wasn't really pregnant now.
“Yes, I went to the doctor yesterday to get the perimenopause blood test, ironically,” I laugh. “But it turns out all my symptoms these last few weeks were pregnancy.” I rub my hand over my belly and a slow smile creeps over my face. “I’m having a baby, guys.”
Fresh tears track down my face as my friends finally shout their excitement, congratulations, and questions over one another. The one thing I do hear clear as a bell is Jaime’s, “Oh my god, bro, you're having a baby with a guy who's young enough to be your son!”
“You let a child impregnate you?!” comes the teeth-clenching screech from the living room. The guys were eavesdropping, after all, as suspected.
“Denniiiiissss!” I bury my face in my hands and groan.
“Dennis! Don’t be a dick!” Max chastises as the boys run into the room.
“Well, I guess you really did fuck around and find out,” he jests.
I can’t help my knee jerk response, “Your face fucked around and found out!”
Max just sighs as Isaiah's booming laughter echoes. “You two are never going to grow out of this, huh.”
It’s silly banter Dennis and I have had since Max first started dating him, but it actually helps me feel a bit more grounded with the ritual of it all.
“Congratulations, Shari. Truly. But how did a baby put a baby in you?”
