“What are you doing?” I stand in front of her while the camera is still recording. She leans over and stops it.
GEMMA
“I didn’t mention him by name,” I say. He’s making me cross.
“I don’t want you at any point talking or saying anything about the children. Do you understand me?” Alex’s eyes are practically bulging. I've never seen someone so mad.
“I just want another opinion.” What is his problem? It isn'tthat big a deal. Everyone airs their issues in public now. Nothing is private anymore.
“He’s not your son! You’re just the nanny. You do as I say.”
“Just the nanny? Are you taking the piss? You think I don’t care about them?” I snap at him, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Not like I do, no.”
Oh, now he's pissed me off. I stand up.
“You are a fucking asshole. That kid is amazing, and as soon as he said the other child deserved it, that’s it. I believe him, and I know when he’s ready, he will tell us what’s going on. You jumping down his throat will achieve nothing.”
“You don’t need to tell me how amazing my children are. I know!” he yells at me.
“Do you?” I scream back.
Alex walks away from me. I walk after him, pulling him towards me–his face close to mine.
“Don’t tell me how to parent. He’s my son,” he growls just inches away from me. He’s so close, just a breath away.
“No. If that were the case, you would have fired me on day one. You told me I have to prove myself, and I’m doing it. He’s done nothing wrong. I bet my life on it. Can you say the same thing?”
“I love him. I am the only person who truly loves him,” Alex shouts at me, his nostrils flaring.
I ignore the speck of spit which lands on my cheek. “I’m not denying that. I know you love Ace, but this is about trusting him.” I put my hand on Alex’s arm, stroking it as I try to calm him down.It was a trick I learnt with an ex-boyfriend. He got mad because I hit his car with mine once.
He looks me in the eyes. His thumb wipes my cheek, and he stares at me, tilting my head up to his. There is silence as we both look at each other. I can see he’s arguing with himself, so I make it easier. I lean into him and the next thing Iknow his mouth is on mine. Our tongues are touching, swirling around; he tastes of coffee and the sweetness of the vanilla ice cream.
My hands are in his hair, holding onto him, scared he’ll stop if I let go. He picks me up in his arms and puts me on the kitchen table. As he undoes his shirt, I pull my top off. Oh God, is this actually happening? My body is reacting to him as his mouth moves along my neck. I let him take the lead, unsure of what to do. All I know is I want him.
“Gem.” His breath is heavy, he looks me in the eyes, kissing my mouth one more time.
My legs open as he stands between them, pressing against my sex. There’s a wetness in my knickers. His hand slides between my legs. I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. His fingers lightly press on my clit.
“This is my first time since Julia.”
“This is my first time ever,” I reply.
He stops suddenly, staring, before he grabs his shirt, walking away.
“Alex?” He turns to look at me.
I stare at him, hard. He’s rejecting me.
“It was a mistake, I’m sorry. I took it too far.” He walks out of the room, leaving me behind.
He really is an asshole. I run up to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me, there is a quiet tap. I lie there in my shorts and bra, unsure about what to do.
“Gemma, can I speak to you?” Alex’s voice is muted through the door.
“Go away, I’m fine,” I call.
