“You don’t sound fine,” he says.
“I am.” I sniffle, and a tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away.
“I’m coming in.” He opens the door.
Lying on my bed, I stare at the ceiling, but I still feel hispresence consuming the room. I look over to him, and I catch him raking his eyes over my body.
“I took advantage. I shouldn’t have kissed you. That wasn’t fair to put you in that position,” Alex admits. His voice is soft like he uses with the children when they are upset, but I’m not taking this. He was scared, and I needed him to be honest with me.
“I wanted you to kiss me.” I sit up, giving him a better view of my breasts.
“Don’t say that, please. You’re saving yourself.” Alex runs his hand through his hair, grabbing the back of it.
“Is it because I’m a virgin?”
“Yes, no…yes… I wouldn’t feel right if I had done that. It should be with someone you care about. You love. Not from an argument. Not something you will regret. I don’t want you to regret it. Trust me.” He pauses, looking around the room. When he turns back to me, his jaw is set. “Night, Gemma. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Alex, would you have stopped if I hadn’t told you?” I question him. But he doesn’t answer, he just leaves and shuts the door.
I want him to be my first. I want him. Now. I don't care. I get my phone to text my only friend. Next weekend, I am going to party and lose my virginity.
Chapter
Twelve
GEMMA
It islate on Saturday night and I’m already on the wine with Fern. We dance to the music on the crowded floor of the nightclub we picked. I can feel eyes on me as I sway back and forth in a seductive manner. It's just a matter of time before someone comes to hit on me.
Until I need a wee…
The pink sequin playsuit might have short sleeves and be cut off at the thigh, but I can't get out of it without Fern’s help. I grab her hand and drag her through the throng of people, making our way to the toilets. I push my way through the queue, not bothered by the other women complaining. Fern is apologising for me, but I don’t care—I refuse to wet myself in public.
“How are you going to get out of this tonight when you want to get undressed?” Fern asks me.
"I can always ask Alex.” I giggle. I’m sure that would be fun. I’d wake Alex up in the early hours of the morning to undress me.
“Oh, yeah? Do you have a thing for him?” she teases, joking about something that isn't even funny.
My thoughts tumble from me. “He’s so sexy in his work attire. And he has this age thing going on. I bet he’d be great in bed, but he rejected me,” I tell her, feeling sorry for myself.
“What?” she asks, surprised.
“Fern, it’s a mess.”
She turns her back on me while I’m on the toilet, waiting until I’m done before helping me zip my awkward outfit back up. The toilets are busy, and it isn't the kind of conversation I want everyone else to hear.
"Come on," I say after I wash my hands.
We make our way to the lounge area, which is quieter and more private. There are sofas around tables here, and the lighting is low and romantic. We pause at the mahogany bar to order some drinks, and then we sit down with our cocktails.
“Spill,” she says. "You can't say something like that and leave me hanging."
“There was a... moment. We kissed, but he stopped. I had my shirt off, but I told him something and…” I blush. I never blush like this with Fern. I'm never embarrassed about anything I tell her. I'm in control. I sip my cocktail, needing courage.
“He’s your boss… Bosses and relationships should never mix,” she says as though it's a matter of fact.
I mean, of course those two don't mix, but just the way she says it makes me suspicious. I sit back, turning my body to look at her, narrowing my eyes and observing her.
