Cattle being stolen, harassed, killed.
Libby’s farm being attacked.
April being kidnapped.
Elena was forced to do heinous shit.
And nowmurder.
Strangely, the hardest part is seeing everyone having someone to comfort them.
Even Sawyer has Val.
He used to be who I’d rely on. When Mom died, we were inseparable.
Now, I just hug my arms tighter around my belly as we ride silently back down to Uncle Dixon’s house.
The quiet continues while we file indoors.
I need to change out of these drenched clothes.
Sniffling to myself, I manage to hold my shit together until I close the door behind me.
Then the pain, the ache, the true weight of the loss, crushes me into a crumpled pile on the floor.
How can they really be gone? It’s barely been three weeks, yet I swear at any minute Grandma is going to knock gently and offer to make me a hot chocolate to deal with this grief.
I would do anything to get rid of this strangling knot around my chest.
My thick hoodie is nearly impossible to peel off, but my t-shirt is easier.
They were nothing compared to trying to snake skin off my tight jeans.
I finally resort to rolling them down and stomping them off with my heels.
Practically naked, goosebumps erupt over my chilled body.
If only I had someone here who could warm me up.
Instead, I tug on a thick sweater and my fuzzy fleece sweats, then flop onto my bed to curl up under the blanket for a moment.
RacingQueen: Having a very shitty day. I need a distraction.
TheBigO: I’m at the scene in your pirate book where she’s being forced to marry the captain.
RacingQueen: Oh, I can’t wait to hear what you think about the next part!
TheBigO: Will that help get your mind off what’s happening?
RacingQueen: Only if you talk dirty to me at the same time.
I bite the inside of my cheek while I wait for his response.
One of these times I expect him to tell me to fuck off.
When I see the three little dots appear, I get a rush of adrenaline to see what he says.
TheBigO: I’ve seen what turns you on. I’d have to step up my game.
