“Here,” Ari said, offering me a paper cup of coffee from a pot.
I wanted to tell them again I didn’t need anything, that I was fine, but I accepted the drink and sighed. After being stared down for what felt like hours, I spoke.
“I slept with Zach.”
Warren gasped.
“Oh my God!” he exclaimed with an overdramatic flair before adding a deadpan, “and?”
“Was it bad?” Ari asked.
I groaned.
“No, it wasn’t bad. It was good.Toogood. Better than I could have dreamed of.”
“I fail to see the problem here,” Warren said, and Ari nodded.
“I can’t do it again. I can’t…go through this again,” I told my friend.
“Go through what?” he asked.
“This. All of this. The falling in love, the devotion, the opening up of my heart. But most of all, I can’t handle the heartbreak again.”
“Again?” Ari asked, while Warren sighed.
“Why do you assume there’ll be heartbreak?” he asked.
“Because there’s always heartbreak.”
“No, there isn’t. Some people are just…the one, or whatever you want to call it.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Not everyone is like—” he started and I cleared my throat, glancing at Ari. “You-know-who. For one, You-know-who is so deep in the closet, he might have made it to Narnia by now. And Zach is out and proud of who he is. That makes a massive difference, doesn’t it?”
I licked my lip and my shoulders sagged.
“Yeah. I guess.”
“You guess?You guess? Wasn’t the whole issue with…You-know-who that he couldn’t commit because he didn’t want anyone knowing he was gay?”
I stared at my friend, trying to poke holes in his theory but…well, there weren’t any.
Except one.
“It still doesn’t mean he won’t break my heart.”
I felt silly saying it, but it was the truth.
Warren grimaced and glanced at Ari.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he shouted.
“What?” I asked.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Patterson?” he repeated. “What do you mean, he’ll break your heart? You don’t know that. No one knows that. No one can guarantee that.”
“Exactly my point,” I said.
