"I thought I heard a noise."
"I didn't hear anything."
He shrugs, turning back to me, "I'm going to go grab dinner, you want anything?"
"No, I'm good." I say, needing him to leave as fast as possible.
"Cool, be back soon."
He turns and races down the stairs.
"Leon, my door!"
"Shut it yourself."
I grunt under my breath as I push from the bed and speed walk to the door, shutting it with a resounding click before resting my head against it for a breather.
Seconds later I turn, Asher stands on the other side of the bed, avoiding eye contact.
He won't look at me. Not like he was before.
Like he's drawn a line I didn't even realise we crossed.
"I'm going to get going."
"Good idea." I say, stepping away from the door as he approaches.
His hand curls around the handle of my bedroom door, pulling it open and I find my mouth opening before I even know what I'm going to say.
"Umm, thank you?" I pause. The sentence is awkward and jilted, and I cringe but refuse to look up at him.
"All good, that's what I'm here for."
The atmosphere is awkward and I look around my room to distract myself before Asher clears his throat, "oh I have homework for you." He reaches for his back pocket, retrieving a small notepad.
"Homework?"
"This," he says, tapping the book lightly with his finger, "is your homework for the week." His tone is as calm as if he's assigning reading for a class. Meanwhile, my heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest.
He steps forward, handing me the book, and our fingertips brush for the briefest moment. My skin tingles from the contact, but I focus on the book in my hand. It's stupid to react to something so small. It's Asher. My best friend's brother. He's just helping me. There's nothing more to it.
Even if his voice does things to my body I'm not ready to look into.
"What exactly am I supposed to learn from this?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady, even though it feels like the floor is about to drop from under me.
"Start with the basics. Understand your own body first. Once you're comfortable with that, we'll move on to..." He pauses, and I can feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to finish the thought.
"Other people?" I blurt, cringing at how breathless I sound.
He nods slowly, his expression softening in a way that makes my stomach twist. "Yeah. Other people. You don't need to rush this. We're taking it step by step."
Step by step. That's what this is. A lesson. He's not doing this to torture me. He's not... enjoying this. Right?
I swallow, my throat suddenly dry. "And after I've read it, what then?"
"Then we'll talk about how pleasure works for a guy. If you're curious." He says it so matter-of-factly, but I can't help but feel the heat creep up my neck. We were just on my bed, with him over me and whispering dirty things and now we're - discussing this like we're talking about the weather.
I look down at the book in my lap. I'm supposed to read this and learn about... myself. I feel like an idiot.
