Their eyes met, and she dared him to stop her. “I know that being a notch in a bedpost bothers you more than you let on, but you don’t think anyone can see beyond that perfect face of yours to the flawed man underneath. Maybe you’re right, but you’ll never know because you won’t take a chance and trust your feelings. Because Iknowyou feel this, too, Gregor. Just as I know that one day you will regret marrying me to another man, but by then it will be too late, and you will have no one to blame but yourself.”
He just stared at her. “Jesus, Cate, I…”
Didn’t know what to say. That was clear. Suddenly, the storm of emotion drained out of her. What was left was a sense of futility and hopelessness—and maybe a need to strike back. “Marry me to whomever you want, Gregor—it doesn’t make a difference to me. None of them are you. But when you are lying there in the dark tonight, trying to go to sleep with your body aching for me as mine will for you, think about this: The next man I am lying under might be my husband, and unlike you, he will not pull back.”
The pulse below his jaw jumped, his mouth hardening into a tight white line. She thought he might reach for her, but his arms stayed rigidly fixed at his sides.
“Of course, you could prove I mean nothing to you and find relief another way, but I don’t think you’ll do that. I think you want me and no other. But go ahead and prove me wrong…if you can.”
Cate didn’t know where she’d found the strength to utter the challenge, but even knowing the risk, she would not take it back. She had too much to lose. Her faith would be rewarded or destroyednow—before he married her to another man.
Feeling more battered and bruised than she’d ever been from training, Cate turned on her heel and walked away.
She didn’t look back.
Jesus. It was the only coherent thought he could manage, so he repeated it:Jesus.
Gregor didn’t know how long he’d stood there after she left. She’d done it again: turned him upside-down, inside-out, and all the way around. He felt like he’d been sucked up into a tempest to spin around for a while, before being spit back out onto the ground like a ship scattered on the rocks. A ship that had been sailing along just fine—perfectly fine—until it had run into an unexpected maelstrom.
Cate.
She loves me. After hearing that litany of his character—good and bad—how could he doubt it? It wasn’t a girlishtendreor an instant infatuation with his face; she really did know him.
Hell, she knew him better than he knew himself. And he didn’t know what to think about that except he didn’t like it. It confused him. Nay,sheconfused him.
How did she know so much about him, anyway? Undoubtedly his mother had told her some, some she must have figured out from observation, and some was conjecture.“I think you want me, and no other.”That sure as hell was conjecture…wasn’t it?
“Prove me wrong…if you can.”He should. God knew he should. But he wouldn’t hurt her like that to prove a point.
He’d hurt her enough with his damned plan. A plan that had seemed perfect before he’d come home but didn’t seem so perfect now. He hadn’t anticipated wanting her. Hadn’t anticipated being unable to keep his damned hands to himself. Hadn’t anticipated her response, and sure as hell hadn’t anticipated the surge of what could only be called jealousy at the thought of her with another man.“The next man I am lying under might be my husband.”He swore again.
Nor had he anticipated the guilt he would feel for sending her from her home. For being so eager to be rid of her.
Being rid of her was what he thought he wanted, but when she put it so harshly, damn it, he didn’t like how it sounded.
He didn’t want to be rid of her. But what other choice did he have? He couldn’t marry her.
Or could he? Could he be the man she thought him? The man she deserved?
Ah hell, what was she doing to him? A wife sure as hell wasn’t the way to clear his head. Picking up the dagger that was still on the ground and sliding it into his belt, Gregor crossed the practice yard and headed toward the kitchens. A hot bath would clear his head. And if that didn’t work, a big draught of ale would make him forget.“I know you drink more when you are unhappy…”Christ, he had to stop this.
He was walking past the stables when a thin, dark form jumped out to block his path.
Recognizing the miscreant, Gregor’s lip curled with distaste. A curl of distaste that was returned in force by the miscreant—along with a menacing glare. “What did you do to her?”
From the way Pip was clenching and re-clenching his small fists, Gregor realized the lad was actually thinking about using them. Another time it might have amused him, but in his present state he was in no mood for the perceived wrongs of a deceitful brat who’d taken advantage of Cate’s too-big heart. The lad hadn’t been abandoned. According to the information Gregor’s seneschal had uncovered, Pip had been sending his mother money—probably since he’d arrived.
“Do to whom?” Gregor said. “Say what you will, Phillip—I’m busy.”
Hatred twisted the lad’s face into a mask of rage. “What did you do to Cate? Why did you make her cry?”
Ah hell. It felt like someone was pounding a hammer on his chest like it was an anvil. “Cate was crying?”
“If you hurt her, I’ll kill you!”
Gregor was taken aback by the venom and intensity of the threat. He did not doubt the boy meant it. “Leave it, Pip. It has nothing to do with you. This is between Cate and me.”
“Why are you even here? No one needs you here. I wish you’d just go away and never come back. Everything was fine before you came.”
