But maybe one day would be too late. Maybe she didn’t understand him at all. Maybe the only connection they had was in her mind. Maybe he was just as untouchable as he seemed. And maybe, just maybe, all he would do if she let him was break her heart.
But she wasn’t going to let him. If Seonaid and her big breasts and beautiful face were what he wanted, he could have them.
“Aye,” she said, looking straight at him. “It’s just a dog.”
Gregor knew she meant him, and not the demonic scrap of fur that had done its best to sink its tiny teeth into his boots.
The barb was well aimed. He felt no better than a dog when he saw her face. She’d looked shattered, and he felt like a man who’d just taken a hammer to her fragile dreams.
Christ, this was what he’d been trying to prevent. He’d never wanted to hurt her. But one look at her face, and he knew just how badly he’d done that.
It was the disappointment, however, that cut him to the quick. He hadn’t realized how much her belief in him mattered until it was gone. From the first, Cate had looked at him like some kind of hero. God knows, he’d never wanted it, and had always known he would somehow tarnish that shining-armor image she had in her mind, but he hadn’t realized how much he’d come to depend on it, how much it would bother him when it was gone, and how much it would remind him of the other person he’d disappointed.
His father had been ashamed of Gregor’s “pretty face” from practically the day he’d been born, yet ironically it was all the man ever saw. “Christ, just look at him!” his father would say to Gregor’s mother. “The lad will never have to work hard for anything. See how people bend over to make him happy. He’ll be a wastrel and a popinjay for the rest of his life.”
His father’s portent had proved true. In Gregor’s youth, it seemed that whatever he tried to do, it always went wrong. By the time he’d turned fourteen or fifteen he’d given up trying and entered a period of full-fledged rebellion, where he took great pains to throw his irresponsibility in his father’s face. That had changed when he’d gone off to join the fighting at eighteen, but by then it was too late. No matter how hard Gregor worked to prove himself, his father had never seen him as anything other than weak and unreliable. And now Cate was looking at him the same way, and he hated it.
But it was her own fault, damn it! He’d never asked for her faith. Hell, he’d never wanted it. Why was she so surprised? So what if he kissed another lass? He could kiss whoever the hell he wanted!
Although next time it wouldn’t bethislass clutching his chest as if a swarm of rats were circling around her feet.
Nay, not rats,rat.
His gaze fell on the scraggly-looking pup tucked protectively against the chest of another scraggly-looking creature. Both were black-haired and scrawny, and both were looking at him as ifhewere filth under their feet. The lad was silent; the pup, however, was not, and its frantic, high-pitched yapping was too reminiscent of another terrier he’d rather not remember.
“Shut that thing up,” he snapped.
“Which one?” Pip replied, with an eye to Seonaid.
Gregor might have cracked a smile—Seonaid’s high-pitched wail was just as annoying as the pup’s—if he hadn’t heard Cate muffle a sharp laugh.
Shooting them both a quelling stare, while silently agreeing, he attempted to calm the lass whose arms had taken on the distinct feel of tentacles.
He never should have kissed her in the first place. It had felt wrong from the very beginning. If it wouldn’t reinforce everything Cate thought about him, he might admit that he didn’t even like Seonaid. In fact, he would have pulled back the moment their lips touched if he hadn’t heard the footsteps and sharp intake of breath that had identified Cate.
No matter how unpleasant, however, the kiss had served its purpose. Cate had been disenchanted. She was no longer looking at him with the heart-in-the-clouds adoration of a young girl. No, the way she was looking at him was far too clear-eyed.
It was what he wanted, wasn’t it?
“Here,” Cate said, reaching for the tiny beast. “Let me take him. He’s probably just scared by all that caterwauling.”
Seonaid had calmed enough to narrow her eyes on Cate. “That thing, scared? It was the one who attacked us.”
The pup had quieted, and was nuzzling its small head into Cate’s hand like it couldn’t get enough of her touch as she petted it.
What would it feel like to have those hands on him? Gregor’s blood surged.Incredible. God, he knew without a doubt that it would feel bloody incredible.
Oblivious to Gregor’s unwanted and illicit thoughts about where he would like to have those nimble fingers stroking him, Cate looked back and forth between Seonaid and the pup. “You must have been terrified,” she dead-panned. “He is quite vicious.”
Seonaid’s gaze hardened, and there was something cruel in her eyes that made Gregor uneasy. Had he unwittingly struck deeper than he intended?
“Fortunately, I didn’t need to act like a man to protect myself.” Seonaid latched onto his arm again. “I had a real one by my side to do so.” She blushed, casting him a coy glance from under her lashes. “Well, not exactly at my side.” She laughed and turned to Cate. “As I’m sure you saw.”
The gloating in her voice left Gregor no doubt of just what a big mistake he’d made. If they’d been friends once, they weren’t any longer.
“I hope you are not too disappointed, Caitrina,” Seonaid added. Cate’s face went white. She seemed frozen in place, her fingers stiff in the dog’s fur. Seonaid batted her lashes at him, and he wondered how he’d ever thought her pretty. “You know she has a littletendrefor you. But I told her a man like you would be more…discerning.” She laughed as if him desiring Cate were the most ludicrous thing in the world.
If she only knew.
