“Get some rest, there aren’t many hours left before dawn.” He whistled, and immediately a few of his men materialized out of the shadows. He urged her to go, watching as she faded into the darkness. Darkness that matched the deep abyss of regret in his chest.
Chapter 22
Bittersweet remembrance. Was that what awaited her for the rest of her life? Would Alex die and leave her with fleeting memories of a love that had barely been given the chance to spread its wings and soar?
Frustration tinged with resentment mounted inside her. The worst part was that she knew he was right. Alex couldn’t leave Lewis, just as she couldn’t leave her clan without a leader to help her brother for the future.
There was no other choice: Alex had to help his kin defend against the incursion of the Fife Adventurers. Nobility. Strength. Pride. None of those attributes would keep her warm at night. But Meg also realized that she would not love the man who was without them.
Not that it would make leaving him any easier.
Not when she knew now that he loved her. He might not have said as much, but she knew deep in her heart that he did. He wouldn’t say so, couldn’t say so. Not until he was free. Not when he might not survive. She understood that now, understood why he’d tried to push her away. But understanding did not bring her peace or lessen the hollow sense of unfulfilled longing gnawing at her soul.
She’d tossed on her makeshift pallet for an hour before deciding that there was only one way to calm her restlessness. She didn’t have much time; it was almost dawn. And tomorrow she knew there would be little opportunity for further intimacy. He had a job to do, and she would not interfere. She’d leave tomorrow as he wished, but the night belonged to her.
Meg crept silently through the encampment of sleeping clansmen, careful not to disturb those who’d stayed behind to ensure their safe departure. Once away from the warmth of the fire, she shivered in the cool night air, wrapping the extra plaid she wore over her traveling clothes tighter across her shoulders. Though she tried not to think about how scary it was out here, in the dark, alone, the hairs on her arms and neck stood at attention. Her heart pounded. She followed the narrow path through the thicket of trees, where she’d watched Alex disappear earlier. Despite her unease, Meg realized she was lucky he’d offered to take the first watch—the first watch that had just ended. But he hadn’t returned. That he’d probably done so to be away from her was immaterial.
What she had planned wouldn’t work very well in a crowded camp.
The farther she retreated from the fire, the more she was forced to use her hands to help guide her through the dark maze of the narrow path. A branch scratched the side of her cheek. She gasped, more with surprise than with pain.
A hand over her mouth quickly smothered the involuntary sound.
Terror struck. Meg thrashed around, trying to break free, but her captor held her lodged tight against his body.
“Shhh.”
She stilled, recognizing the deep timbre of that voice.
“Quiet. Unless you want a party of Lowlanders down on top of us.” The warmth of his whisper so close to her ear sent a chill of awareness down her spine.
Meg nodded that she understood, and he relaxed his hold but did not release her. Now that her pulse had slowed considerably, she was able to recognize the familiar lines of the hard body behind her and the subtle erotic scent of sea and sun that clung to him like a warm blanket. Savoring his closeness—and not one to waste an opportunity—Meg sank deeper into the curve of his body, snuggling her bottom against his groin.
It was his turn to stifle a groan, but he did not loosen his hold. Danger must be near.
Meg listened, though not sure precisely what she was listening for.
Minutes later, it became clear when she heard the galloping stampede of a large party pass not fifty feet from where they stood.
After a tense few minutes, the intruders were safely away. Alex spun her around.
“What are you doing out here? Why aren’t you abed?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Meg ignored his furious expression. “Were they looking for us?”
He stared at her, eyes narrowed. Obviously, he was deciding whether to press his anger. Meg stood firm, meeting his gaze. There’d been enough anger between them. Finally, he answered her. “Yes, every few days they send out a scouting party.”
“I didn’t realize they would be so close.”
He shrugged, unconcerned. “It’s more of a nuisance, really. It forces us to move around, but they never seek to engage us. Not out here. Not on our terrain. Nonetheless, no matter how unlikely, we have to be prepared in the event they do decide to mount an attack.”
Meg understood. “They keep you under surveillance, but prefer to fight with the castle behind them.”
Alex nodded. “What strength they have is in their defensive position, and they’ll not risk losing their best weapon by attacking our forces out here. Not without help. But had you alerted them to our presence, it would not have stopped them from trying to kill the both of us. You did not answer my question—why are you here?”
Meg blushed, grateful that he could not see her response in the darkness. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that this might be her only chance, and stepped closer. She stood just under his chin, forcing her head back to meet his gaze. “I wanted to say good-bye. Privately. There might not be an opportunity tomorrow.”
He sighed and then said gently, “Meg, we’ve said all there is to be said.”
