“Meg…,” he warned, leaning over her, closer. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her hair. It sent a shiver of sensation down her spine.
She swallowed. Not from intimidation, but from the pure magnetism that radiated from him straight through her, warming her, engulfing her senses with heat. From his tense posture, she could tell he, too, was not unaffected by their closeness. The memory of what had happened in the woods stretched heavily between them.
“I know about your cousins,” Meg said gently. Cautiously, she peeked at him from beneath her long lashes. Alex’s controlled expression slipped, revealing his pain. She rested her hand on his arm. “Don’t blame Isabel, she thought it might help explain some things, and it did. But why didn’t you tell me?”
“I told you.”
“Not all of it.”
He stepped backward and turned away from her. “It was a long time ago.”
“I know it was,” she agreed, “but I also know that it still bothers you. Tell me.”
He turned back to face her, meeting her hopeful gaze with a determined set to his square jaw. She could read it in the thin line of his lips, the shuttered look in his eyes: He still would not share his painful memories with her—and that hurt. But it was too late to turn back. He would learn to trust her.
“Meg…” he began softly.
From the look in his eyes, Meg knew what he was going to say. He was going to reject her. Again.
“I can’t be the man you need for your clan—”
She clutched his arm. Perhaps she hadn’t been clear? “Alex, I don’t care about the past. I trust you completely. I trust your judgment, your leadership, your fighting skills. I trust you with the future of my clan. Is that not enough?”
“I’m honored, lass. More than you will know. If circumstances were different…but there are things you don’t understand.”
“Then tell me, help me understand.”
“I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t.” Bitterness clung to her tongue.
“Very well, I won’t.”
It hadn’t worked.
Wordshadn’t worked.
Her heart pounded and her pulse raced as she realized that the point of no return was fast approaching. Could she go through with it? Throwing herself at him like some common strumpet? Playing on their attraction? Seduction went against her normally forthright nature. It seemed almost…manipulative. She grimaced. Alex had left her no choice. She knew he needed a push. He cared for her, but something held him back. And she knew that if she did not try, she would never know. And living with that would be even worse.
There was only one card left to play. He’d thrown down the gauntlet.
To the winner went the spoils.
Alex knew the precise moment that Meg understood. He watched her beautiful green eyes cloud, the soft pink blush fall from her cheeks. He watched the pain of his rejection pinch her delicate features.
He hated being forced to hurt her. But what in Hades was she thinking coming to his room like this in the first place? Didn’t she realize how dangerous this was? If anyone found her here, she would be ruined.
Damn Isabel for telling her about his cousins. He didn’t want Meg’s pity.
Marriage.The very idea taunted like a dream drifting just out of his reach. Marriage was something that he’d always thought would not be for him. But for the first time, he realized it could be. Regret came swift and hard. He was honored by her proposal and more tempted than she would ever know, but it could not be.
It was just like Meg to propose to him. Tenacious and straightforward no matter what. Coming here like this had taken some courage. But it also made everything more complicated. Had his life been anything else since he’d met her?
Conflicted didn’t even begin to cover what Alex was feeling. One moment he was ready to jump on the next horse and race to the coast, eager to confront his future; the next he wanted to pull Meg into his arms and savor every precious moment with her. It had been like this ever since Rory and Isabel had arrived—when it had become impossible to ignore the fact that he must leave. And soon.
He should be proud of what he’d accomplished at court. He’d succeeded in the first part of his mission. He’d done what he came to do. But he took no joy in his success. Not when Meg had innocently become tangled up in his activities. He did take solace in knowing that the damage was not irreparable. Assuming he could stop himself from pushing her back on the bed and ravishing her as he wished.
By this time tomorrow, he would be on his way to Lewis. He was surprised that Rory had asked him to wait a full day. Alex had thought to be gone by now. He didn’t know whether to be sorry or relieved. As his gaze slid back to Meg, he thought, Probably the latter. No matter how wretched he felt right now.
