Where Meg was concerned, everything was in turmoil. A woman had never made him feel this way before. One thing was for sure: He would see that she never realized how difficult she’d made it for him to leave. He didn’t want to give her false hope. Lord knew he didn’t want to hurt her, any more than he wanted to say good-bye. But he had to do both.
She moved to the door. She was going to leave. But all he wanted to do was pull her back into his arms and wipe away the bruise left by his refusal with a kiss.
He forced his arms to remain by his side. Her back was to him, but he could see her fiddle with the clasp of her cloak. This was to be good-bye, then. His chest tightened. He forced his mouth closed, preventing the words from tumbling out to call her back.
He wanted her. But even if what she said was true, even if she did think he would make a good chief for her clan, Alex knew that he had to finish what he started. Rory needed him; there was no one else with his experience and skills. He had a duty to his clan and to his slain cousins to atone for their loss. And he would never put Meg in danger, physically from his enemies or from himself. An alliance with a traitor would be the exact opposite of the husband she’d hoped to find. No, it was better this way. Once he was gone, she would accept Jamie’s suit. His stomach buckled with the blow of the thought of Meg with Jamie.
Her cloak had somehow slid off her shoulders and landed on a chair. And instead of opening the door to leave, Meg pulled the simple wooden latch across the door with a dull thud and turned to face him.
There was a strange cast to her face, determined yet vulnerable. She took a tentative step toward him. Slowly, her hands lifted to her hair. His breath caught. One by one, she pulled the pins that bound the thick curls, until the last one was gone and those beautiful chestnut locks tumbled freely down her back. Like a siren song, she shook her head, beckoning him to paradise. Or perdition. Alex was mesmerized by the shimmering waves of soft curls swaying in the candlelight.
He was growing very uneasy. And very aroused. His mind refused to accept what his eyes were telling him. His vulnerable little wood nymph was doing her best to look like a skilled seductress. It was utterly charming. And exceedingly effective.
“What are you doing?” His voice sounded ragged even to his own ears.
Her brow shot up, and a corner of her mouth lifted with amusement. “I must admit I’m new to this, but I’d hoped it would be obvious.”
She continued her slow, swaying saunter toward him, until she stood right before him. So close that he could bend down and kiss the top of her downy head.
Suddenly shy, she peered up at him from beneath her long lashes. She reached up to place her hands on his shoulders. He groaned but forced his body to remain stiff and unyielding under her touch.
God help him, she was seducing him.His entire body clenched. He’d never expected this. Not from Meg.
“You need to leave,” he said stiffly, then more adamantly: “Now.”Before it’s too late.
She shook her head and lifted her chin to look him straight in the eye, unflinching. “Tell me you don’t want me.”
Damn her, didn’t she know how hard this was for him? How it had almost killed him to stop himself from taking her last time? How just being next to her filled him with a longing so intense, he didn’t know how much longer he could stand not having her?
“I don’t want you,” he lied, his body pounding with desire.
She ran her hand up the top of his arms to circle around his neck, pressing her delicate body against him. Teasing him. He couldn’t breathe.
“I don’t believe you,” she whispered, pressing a feathery kiss along his clenched jaw.
It hurt physically just to stand there, unmoving.
When he didn’t respond, she pulled back, her expression an adorable mix of befuddled confusion. But Alex held firm under her gentle assault. She leaned closer, placing her hand on his chest for support, and brushed her mouth against his. The taste of her assailed him, drenching him with a slow-moving heat. Arousal swarmed his senses. He felt intoxicated, not with drink but with desire.
It took every ounce of his restraint not to take what she offered. He made a low sound, which was apparently all the encouragement she needed, because this time she kissed him harder, moving her mouth over his as he’d taught her to do. Her mouth was soft and unbearably sweet. He wanted to sink into her. To plunder the delicious cavern of her mouth with his tongue. He could have held out, would have, until she slid her tongue along the deep crevice of his mouth.
Damn her.
He pulled her into his arms with such urgency, he was worried that he might have hurt her. But she just mewled, like a sweet, contented little kitten. His head dipped and caught her quivering lips, lips that betrayed her nervousness. His chest tightened with protectiveness as he realized that she was not quite as confident as she seemed.
Instead of the hard, demanding kiss that his heated body craved, his mouth softened. Moving over hers, kneading her lips with his, persuading, opening. His tongue swept the inside of her mouth. She tasted so sweet, like warm honey. This was what he’d been dreaming of since that day in the forest. He couldn’t get enough. Desire pulsed through him, urging him, taunting him, begging him to sate his desperate need. He was filled with it, his erection stiff and throbbing.
Soon, it would be too late to turn back. Lifting his head, breaking the promise of his kiss, was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.
“I can’t do this, Meg,” he said, his breath harsh and uneven.
Her eyes were hazy with passion. Her pink mouth was swollen from his kiss. She’d never looked so beautiful. Lucidity finally broke through the haze. “I don’t understand…don’t you want this? I know what I am doing. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. You are everything that I need. Let me prove it to you.”
Her faith in him pierced the shield encased around his heart. He believed her. A woman like Meg would not give herself lightly. She made him dream of things that he’d never allowed himself to imagine. For a moment, he forgot the shadow that had followed him for the last five years. This smart, beautiful woman believed in him.
His body wavered, but deep in his soul he knew this was wrong. He could not let her sacrifice herself, her future, her soul, for him. He would not be the cause of her failing her father. He knew how hard she’d worked to prove herself. Being here with him was a mistake. He couldn’t give her what she needed. This had to stop. Here. Now.
“It won’t change anything, Meg. I can’t offer you what you want.”
