“And the part where you said you had me?”
My throat works. “I did have you. Safe. For once.” A beat. “I should’ve led with that.”
“You should’ve led with a lot of things.” Her voice is tired, not sharp, but it still cuts.
“You’re right.” I huff out a breath. “I won’t give you up to Ale, okay? I swear it.”
Her eyes narrow. “Why not? He’s your cousin, your blood. And I took a shot at his pregnant wife…” Her lower lip trembles. It’s faint but I catch it all the same.
“No.” My voice is resolute. “You took a shot at me and… missed. I won’t let you pay for that.” The wound is all but healed already.
Wind snags my hood and shoves it back. Her eyes catch on the bruise I brought with me. She looks mad at it, mad at me, mad at everything, and I don’t blame her.
“Have you heard anything about Tiernan?” she asks.
“He’s still in the city. Donal, too. Your picture will buy us a few hours, not days.”
“I know. My brother is already asking for your body.” Her gaze drops to my boots, then climbs up my legs, pausing at the hem of the sweatshirt before jerking away like she touched heat. She makes herself meet my eyes and keeps them there.
“I won’t ask where you’re going next,” I breathe. “I don’t need to know. I just—” I reset. “If you need interference, I can run it. I can still pull Donal west, feed Tiernan ghosts, even Ale?—”
“And why would you do that?” A test, sharp at the edges.
“You know why.”
“Say it,” she says, and I deserve how cruel it feels.
“I still love you.” I don’t raise my voice. I let it be plain, despite the blade gouging out my insides as I say the words that I buried all those years ago. “I loved you then, and I never grew out of it. I’m bad at letting go of the one thing I did right, even if I did it completely wrong.”
She goes impossibly still again. Her face is a blank mask.
The porch light hums louder. Down the block a screen door slams and a woman swears at the wind. Cat should close me out, but she doesn’t. She just stands there, like I do. There’s another beat and it’s filled with so much…
Her jaw works, and I brace myself for the insults. I want her to scream, to curse at me. I deserve every single one. Even now, I’m not sure she understands why I really left. Maybe, one day I’ll tell her.
“Don’t follow me again,” she whispers. They’re the same words she left on the note. That I ignored.
I nod with a smile that’s also a wince tugging at my mouth. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
We both hear the lie but pretend we don’t.
She starts to shut the door. I lay my palm flat to the wood. “Cat…” Her name is a quiet plea. I don’t exert any pressure, justleave it there, warm through the paint. Then I ease back and pull my hands up again.See? I can learn.
“I guess my sixty seconds are up?” I finally rasp.
“They were up before you knocked.”
I step back into the halo of the porch light, then into the drenched darkness. For a second, it feels like the ocean could eat me. “Lock up, Caitríona,” I call out over my shoulder. “If Noel shows up, keep her away from here. Outsiders make Tiernan…creative, and you don’t want that on your shoulders.”
“I know what he is,” she replies, iron in her voice.
I turn to look at her once more. “Right.” I tip my head, the closest I get to a bow. “Goodnight.” Then I take the steps. Sand whispers under my boots. The door stays a crack open and somehow, I can hear her breath over the crashing waves.
“Matteo,” she calls, like she knew I’d hear.
I spin around.
“Thank you.” For the safehouse, the alley, the truth, for coming alone, and leaving now. I hear it all packed into those two words.
