“I’m not that scared of the nigga. If you want me there with you when you tell him, I will be there for you.” He smirked.
We both laughed at him saying he wasn’t that scared of King, when we both knew damn well he was every bit of scared.
“No, I’ll be fine telling him myself… if he chooses to be here or not for this baby, we will be fine.”
“You gone be good either way it goes. I’m gone be here for you, remember that.” He reassured me.
Monty grabbed my hand and held it tight for reassurance. I felt so comfortable with him I told him a little about Shadonna and how me and her past was. He told me that I should keep a good distance with her and not trust her as much, and I totally agreed to that. I was happy that he told me that he would fly with me to Mississippi to get my mother’s ashes as moral support.
At the end of the day, all I needed was someone to be there for me and hold me down no matter what. I didn’t see myself with Monty at all, but I could sure use his good friendship. Something inside of me told me that I would have to make our boundaries clear as friends. I was sad and depressed, but I was not a fool. He was still a man with male tendencies.
Chapter Twenty-Six
King
Ithought killing Prince would bring me some type of peace… That shit didn’t bring me shit, not even good sleep. A whole month had passed since I put a bullet in his head, and somehow it still didn’t feel like enough revenge.
My mom had gone back to Mississippi for a couple weeks to visit her friends, and the house felt empty as hell without her. I ain’t even gonna lie, I had gotten used to her being there. The smell of her cooking when I walked through the door, the random conversations, the way she kept everything spotless, spoiled me.
Now the place felt quiet. Too quiet. I was starving half the time because I had started depending on them home-cooked meals. The only real satisfaction killing Prince gave me was knowing all three of the men who murdered my father were finally dead. Even with that… the hole in my chest from losing my pops was still there.
That kind of pain didn’t just disappear. Some days it hit so hard it made my chest feel caved in.
And strangely enough, it made me think about Layloni even more.
For some reason I kept feeling like she was the only person who might actually understand what that type of grief felt like. Like maybe we could sit together and mourn the people we lost. Misery loved company… that old saying started making a lot of sense.
Instead of dealing with my emotions like a real man, though, I had been doing what most niggas did when they didn’t want to think too hard.
I was running through women. Back-to-back. So many that I couldn’t even remember half their names afterward. Just trying to cope the only way I knew how.
Today I needed to get out the house though. Run a few errands. Clear my head. Maybe pull up on my cousin Hussle and see how business had been moving. Lately I had been slipping. My focus wasn’t where it needed to be, and I hated that feeling. My father raised me to stand strong on my own two feet, to handle business no matter what life threw my way.
Lately I had been feeling weak, too caught up in my emotions.
When I stepped outside, the California sun hit my face along with a cool breeze that instantly lifted my mood a little. That was one thing about living out here. The weather stayed perfect.
I hopped into my Range Rover, sparked up a blunt, and took a long pull while thinking about where to go first. Eventually I pulled up to the barbershop. Nothing reset a man’s confidence like a fresh cut.
I sat in the chair, chopped it up with a few familiar faces while the barber worked his magic, and by the time I walked out an hour later my line-up was sharp enough to cut glass.
I caught my reflection in the shop window and nodded to myself. Feeling brand new. Hussle had texted earlier saying he had a few moves to make before we could link up, so instead of going back home I decided to hit the mall.
Christmas was about a month away anyway. My mom deserved something special this year. I didn’t have many people to shop for. Just her… Rellianah’s spoiled kids… and maybe Layloni if her stubborn ass would ever start talking to me again. Other than that? My list was short.
An hour later I had already made two trips back to the car just to drop off shopping bags. While I was walking through another store, my phone rang. It was finally Hussle hitting me back.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“Man I got a few more plays to handle tonight,” he said. “Let’s link in the morning instead.”
“That’s cool,” I told him before hanging up.
There were still plenty of stores in the mall I hadn’t stepped inside yet, and I knew it would take me at least another hour to finish moving around. Now I understood why women could spend the whole damn day inside a mall.
I headed toward the food court and grabbed a plate of Italian food, figuring I’d sit down, eat, rest my feet for a bit, then finish shopping before calling it a night.
My hand froze mid-bite soon as I heard a familiar laugh float across the food court. I dropped my fork without even thinking and looked around. My eyes scanned every table until they landed on the one person I hadn’t seen in weeks.
