‘I’m going to tell you all their good points first,’ Ruth begins, virtuously. ‘Now Karl Marx … There was no doubt he was a man dedicated to his cause; he spent many hours ensconced in the British Library, warm and cosy, writing all about Communism, whilst his family went cold and hungry—’
‘Reverend Ruth,’ Malcolm interrupts, ‘… ah, good points?’
‘Oh, all right,’ she says, kicking off her shoes and puttingher feet up on the ottoman. ‘Karl clearly influenced many and changed political thinking,’ she says baldly.
‘And Hutch?’ Jo asks.
‘Now, he certainly had his share of talent; he was a great pianist and singer. We might find his style very dated today, but in the Thirties and Forties he was a world-famous cabaret star.’ She pauses, as if considering. ‘Yes, I would say he was dedicated to his art and worked hard at it. A poor boy come good. Oh, and he was a good linguist too. He may have started life in Grenada, but he moved to America, France and then England, mixing with the rich and with royalty. Yes, Hutch could be charming, excellent company, and – on occasion – generous,’ Ruth lists, counting these qualities off on her fingers. ‘He was brave, too – I think it must have taken a lot to overcome the prejudice he encountered.’
‘Any other good points?’ Jo asks.
‘Well, he had an enormous member that he was always getting out and showing people. I don’t know if that counts.’
Malcolm chokes on his drink and it takes a considerable amount of slapping on the back by Jo for him to stop coughing.
‘Well, you did ask,’ Ruth says, with a glint in her eye. She continues, thoughtfully, ‘He hadhundredsof lovers, both men and women. Cole Porter wrote “I’m a Gigolo”about him.’
Jo picks up a plate of canapés and hands them around. She is enjoying this, and she can see the good vicar is too. ‘Now for the bad points,’ Jo says, encouragingly.
The gleam in Ruth’s eye becomes even more pronouncedand she holds out her cocktail glass for a refill.
Malcolm dutifully tops up her glass. As an aside to Jo he adds, quietly, ‘I’ve watered this one down a bit, I hope you don’t mind.’ Jo doesn’t. In fact she thinks it is a very good idea.
‘Now, Karl,’ Ruth begins with relish, ‘he was a bombastic, overbearing man who fell out with just about everyone he met. A bully and, oh, as for his double standards, don’t get me started.’ With this she starts anyway. ‘He claimed it wasn’t right that he should lead a proletariat life, and so he scrounged off everyone he knew. He slept with his maid and then, when she had a baby, Karl completely disowned his son because of what it might do to his reputation.’ Ruth looks around at them gleefully. ‘He was a shocker.’
Jo wants to laugh.
‘And Hutch?’ Malcolm asks. Although as he says this, it occurs to Jo that he will already know. After all, this is his research.
‘Now Hutch.’ Ruth actually rubs her hands together. ‘He could be mean, suspicious, arrogant, extravagant, selfish, and he had a very short temper.’
Malcolm goes to speak, but Ruth hasn’t finished.
‘He could be nastily homophobic when he was with his heterosexual friends, despite being bisexual himself. He held grudges and could be extremely callous. He fathered goodness knows how many illegitimate children, and all he had to say about them was that their mothers should consider themselves lucky.’
‘Did he—’ Jo begins.
However, Ruth still hasn’t come to the end of herlist of Hutch’s faults.
‘When some school friends came from Grenada to England and wanted to hear him perform at the Palladium, they found they couldn’t afford even the cheapest standing space. Did Hutch help them? Did he find a spot for them in the wings? Pay for their tickets? Treat his old mates to a box? Meet them for a drink?’
Jo and Malcolm know the answer without being told.
‘No, of course not,’ Ruth proclaims.
Jo sips her drink, and waits to make sure Ruth has finished. ‘And so those are the reasons you didn’t like hanging out with your ghosts. Yep, I can see why,’ she reflects.
‘Oh, I haven’t even got started on why I reallydon’t like them,’ Ruth says, happily. Unconsciously she touches her clerical collar. ‘I must say it feels good not to hold back for once.’
Jo notes the glee in her voice. She just hopes her ghosts haven’t turned the good reverend.
‘Top them up, Malcolm,’ Ruth instructs, gesturing to her glass, her nose quite pink, ‘then I’ll tell you what Ireallythink.’
41
What Reverend Ruth really thinks
Reverend Ruth leans back in her chair. ‘The real reason I dislike Karl and Hutch so much is because of the way they treated their families,’ she declares, looking from Jo to Malcolm.
