I need food. Real food. Food someone else makes for me. It’s dark out, and I’ve been told not to walk alone at night, but the Seven Crows isn’t far from the café. It has pizza and beer.
And probably Zep.
Even though I said we could be friends eventually, I know we’ll never just be friends. There won’t ever be a day I don’t want him, but I’m not willing to put myself out there just yet by going over to his place.
He hasn’t reached out since the whole debacle with Ben, and I hate where my mind takes that. The only thing I can settle on is that he wasn’t as into me as I thought. He got something he didn’t get with Chanel, but it wasn’t enough to makehim stay.
“Maybe I can get the truth out if he just happens to be there when I am,” I mutter to myself as I walk along the sidewalk. “If a conversation happens when I’m waiting for my pizza, it’s not really me taking that first step.”
Yeah, that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.
Laughter and shouting over loud music fill the air as I get closer to the bar, and it calms me. Something to drown the thoughts in my head. Maybe I should try that tonight. Play really loud music to fall asleep to.
“Probably counterintuitive,” I say and chuckle to myself.
“Hey, pretty lady.”
I’m the only one out right now, and I turn to see an older man wearing a Venom kutte. And a president patch.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. This is not how I wanted to meet Butch. In fact, I hoped I never would.
“Hello,” I say, picking up my pace.
“You want a smoke?”
“I don’t smoke, thanks.”
Just as I’m almost past the alley beside the bar, his large hand grabs my wrist, forcing me to drop my purse. I try my hardest to pull it away, but I can’t. He’s strong, and he has no intention of letting me go.
“That wasn’t a request.”
“Please, just let me go. I’m only here for dinner,” I beg as I think about what he did to Zep’s mom.
Is this how he got her attention? Did she take the cigarette he offered, and then he attacked her? Or did she turn him down, and he didn’t like it?
“I’ll give you something to eat.”
The way he says it makes my blood run cold, and I know I’m in trouble.
“Help!” I scream out, but his hand covers my mouth and pulls me into the darkness.
His dirty, gross hand. It smells like grease, fast food, and sweaty balls. It makes me gag.
I’d been so close. So close to the door yet so far, and the stucco building scrapes my back as he slams me against it.
“Shut your fucking mouth, or I’ll shove my cock so far down your throat that you choke on it.”
What the hell do I do here? They always say that you should comply to save your life, but I don’t know that I can. I don’t know how I’ll get past this.
He releases my mouth, waiting a moment to see if I’ll scream or not. The small sliver of light from the street shows a smile across his weathered face, but his eyes shine with disappointment.
He wants me to fight.
“Good girl.”
Good girl. Two words have never sounded more sickening, and I try to determine my best option to get away. He’s heavier than me. And obviously stronger.
“Open your mouth.”
