This makes her smile. Growing up, we hated when Mama or Johnny called usbrotherorsister, but the truth is, that’s exactly what Lainey is. Johnny may not share DNA with me, but he gave me what counts. And that makes Lainey family.
“Zep,” Mama says as she opens the door.
I hate how her lip trembles as she looks at me, and I know she wants to hug me. After how I acted before, I don’t blame her for holding back.
“Hi, Mama.”
“Wanna come inside?”
Nodding, I follow her into the living room, and I hate how awkward this is. I hate even more how much pain she’s in. For as tough as I am, seeing the women I love cry does me in. Cuts me off at the knees.
“Zeppelin. Good to see you. I gotta get going,” Jennings says. “I’m glad you came by.”
“Heading back to Griffin’s Beach?”
“Yeah, the wife misses me.”
He waggles his eyebrows, and I know what he means. “Jesus, you’re still fucking at your age, old man?”
“Zep!” Mama exclaims, but she chuckles.
“I’m not that old.”
“Old enough. That’s kind of… gross.”
We laugh as he pulls me into a hug. “Just you wait. Find yourself a good woman, and you’ll be just like me one day.”
Find a good woman. I already did. And I lost her.
“Hey, you know I’m just a call away, right? I’m not Johnny, but I am here for you, Zep.”
“Thanks, Jennings.”
He hugs me again tightly before moving to Mama and kissing her cheek. “You gonna be okay, Jo?”
“Yeah.”
“You can always make the trip up to Griffin’s Beach and stay with Tess and me for a bit if you need. I know Tess would love it.”
“That’s only because I sided with her whenever Ma would tell her she wasn’t good enough for you.”
The way they interact reminds me of Lainey and me. The family has fractured and almost broken since Johnny died, and we need to get things back on track.
“Drive safe. We have some big animals out on the highways,” Mama calls as Jennings walks out to his bike.
He just waves and shakes his head in response. Mama always worries when we go out, but I can’t really blame her. Johnny died on his bike. Not on a run but in anaccident.
Yeah, accident my ass.
“Zep—”
Cutting her off, I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly. Her arms wrap around me, and she sobs into my chest. “Shh, Mama, it’s okay.”
“I’m so sorry, Zep. I never wanted you to find out.”
I pull back and fight my own tears. “I should’ve come by sooner, but it’s… It’s hard not to see what he did to you when I look at you, and I’m struggling not to hate myself for it.”
“What? Why would you hate yourself?”
