I nod. “Really bad. My biological dad… He’s a bad man. A really bad man. I had another man in my life I called my dad. He was awesome. He’s gone, and I miss him a lot.”
“Was the lie something bad?”
I nod again. “Worse than what your dad told you. I felt like maybe it would have been better if I wasn’t here. If Mama didn’t want me.”
She sniffles and wipes her eyes. Damn it, I hate seeing this little girl cry. I wish I did kill her dad. Maybe I still can.
“That’s how I feel right now.”
“You listen to me right now, Bernadette Reynolds. You were always meant to be here. You make the world better just by being in it, and I’m a better man for knowing you. Your smile can make my mood better no matter how bad I feel, and your mama would be lost without you.”
“Why doesn’t he want me?”
Standing from the chair, I move Peanut Butter and Chunk, earning me a growl and a hiss in protest, and I pull her into a hug. “I don’t know, kiddo. But it’s his loss.”
“I know I’m different, but he called me defective.”
“You are not defective. He’s the one who is. If he can’t see how awesome you are, there’s something wrong with him. You’re perfect just the way you are, and I wish more people were like you because the world would be a happier place. You’re my sunshine.”
Bernie pulls back and looks up at me. “Like me how?”
“You love life. And you love people. You just want to be friends with everyone, and you don’t have a mean bone in your body.”
“I threw cupcakes at you.”
“And I deserved that,” I say with a laugh. “You’re also worried about your mama right now even though you’re mad, aren’t you? You’re hurt, but you know she’s hurting, too.”
Petting Chunk who jumped back up onto the couch, she nods. “Yeah.”
“She hurts when you hurt, Bernie. Because she’s a good mama. She’d do anything in her power to keep you safe and happy. She never wants you to feel like you shouldn’t be here because you should. We all need you.”
“I suppose.”
Kissing the top of her head, I pray she forgets all about the shit her asshat sperm donor said about her. I want the happy-go-lucky girl back.
“You know why you’re the best?”
“Why?”
I smile at her. “Because you make me want to be a better person simply because I know you. I’m not a good man by most standards, but I want to be good for you and your mama.”
“Daisies.”
Frowning, I tilt my head and search her face. “Huh?”
“Mom’s favorite flowers are daisies. No one has ever given her flowers before. I don’t know if she’ll forgive you, but you can try that.”
Bernie’s helping me? “Does this mean we’re friends again?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I threw cupcakes at you.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you enough to make you.”
“I really wanted you to be Mom’s boyfriend.”
Chuckling, I give her a knowing look. “So you could spend more time with Chunk and Peanut Butter?”
“That, too,” she says and beams. “But I liked you, Zep.”
