Maybe I’ll give our former captain a call—Luca and Theo were inseparable. Maybe he can get to the bottom of Theo’s issues. Though I have to admit, calling an English Championship League footballer is kind of daunting. What would I even say?Hey, man. Sorry to bother you while you’re over there living your dream, but your best mate is on a destructive path that’s going to see him suffering from alcohol poisoning or a severe case of chlamydia?
Noah strides in, grinning and waving at a few people before joining us. His easy smile has heat engulfing my body—I wish I’d stop reacting this way to him. Nothing will ever happen between us. Besides, I’m meeting my mysterious shadow in a couple of hours. I need to focus on what I can control, and fucking someone else who makes me shiver is a lot smarter than crushing on my straight captain.
Noah arches a brow.
“Huh?” I ask when I realise he’s asked me a question.
“I said, have you seen Hannah? I asked her to meet me here.”
My stomach sinks, and I curse myself for being an idiot. She’s his girlfriend. Of course he wants her here.
“No. Sorry.”
He rakes a hand through his hair, that heavy look back on his face.
“Seriously, man,” I press. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” he says, pulling out his phone. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You’ve been a bit off tonight.”
Noah taps out a message on his phone before glancing up at me, and for a second, I catch a glimpse of something akin to fear or pain in his eyes, but then he blinks it away, and the walls come back up. He forces a grin that doesn’treach his eyes, knocking his shoulder into mine playfully. “I’m all good, Kincaid. Just had a big day.”
Someone calls his name from behind us, and we both turn to see Hannah weaving through the crowd. Instead of relaxing like I thought he would, he stiffens. That doesn’t stop him from pulling her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head, and murmuring something in her ear. She smiles up at him and nods, and he wraps his arm around her shoulder.
“Catch you guys later,” he mutters.
I watch him guide her towards the stairs, the heat from the crowded room buzzing against my skin, a pressure building behind my ribs that I try to pretend isn’t disappointment or worse, jealousy. The boys erupt behind me, wolf-whistling and making whipping noises over him leaving the fun down here to get his dick wet.
He flips the bird over his shoulder, and they all laugh, but I just take another swig of my beer, wishing I was anywhere but here. I shouldn’t let this bother me so much. I’ll be with my shadow soon, a man who actually wants to be with me. So, why can’t I stop thinking about what my captain is doing upstairs with his girlfriend?
Chapter 20
Noah
My heart races as I lead Hannah to my bedroom. I’m taking a huge risk, but I need to tell someone before I fuck up and do something reckless that will ruin my life… and someone else’s.
“What’s going on?” she asks as I shut the door, the concern coating her tone making my stomach roil with more guilt.
I don’t deserve her.
I pace the room, fingers tugging my hair. The fresh cuts on my inner thighs are doing nothing to relieve the rising anxiety. I don’t know how she’ll take what I’m about to tell her. I could be about to lose a good friend I’ve come to care for.
“Noah? Talk to me.”
“I don’t know where to start,” I choke, still wearing my carpet thin with my pacing.
She steps in front of me, wraps her arms around my waist, and tilts her face to look at me. “Talk to me. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
She smirks. “Probably not, but you’ve got me anyway.”
Herteasing banter shocks me, and I huff out a laugh. “We’ll see.”
Concern floods her features. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I say quickly, but then sigh. “No? Maybe. I don’t know.”
